Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Weekend of No Sleep

Bennett is a horrible sleeper. Horrible. I'm pretty sure we went through something like this with Max, but it was different.

Max wouldn't go to bed. But once we got him to bed, he slept okay (I think - those fabulous mommy hormones may have taken over and helped me to forget). But, getting him to sleep was a nightmare. We eventually did Ferber (aka cry it out, but with going in to soothe him in increasing intervals) and within a week we could plop him down and he would go to sleep and stay that way waking once, twice at the most to eat and go right back to sleep. Brilliant.

Bennett goes to sleep just fine (most nights). We can even put him down awake and he'll go to sleep no crying just fine. But he wakes ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Like, 10:30, 11:45, 1:00, 2:30, 4:00, 5:00, 5:30, 6:30 and finally 7:30 for the day. I nurse him every time he wakes and then he usually goes back to sleep in our bed because I nurse laying down. Sometimes he can be transferred back into his sleep contraption (more on that later) and other times, he can't. If he wakes he won't go back to sleep without being nursed. If he's not hungry he'll just be up, sometimes crying (even if we're holding him) and other times just chatting and playing until it's time for him to eat again - 1-2 hours later.

We're really, really tired around here.

Okay, so here's the set up. We swaddle Ben every night in a Wombie.

then I nurse him and rock him a bit and stick him in the Rock and Play Sleeper. 

After he wakes and nurses, he sometimes goes back in there, other times not. He's in our room (his crib is set up in there, too) because we're in a two bedroom house and I don't want to risk him being in the room with Max yet (although, that IS the long term plan) because he's up so damn much. So, those are the details. 

I was actually sort of okay with our little situation. Sure I was tired, but I could never muster up the courage to let him cry because I had tried it once and he was relentless. Max always stopped within an hour (again, mom hormones - I think it was an hour) but Ben could go forever it seemed. Plus, since Max had to learn to put himself to sleep at bedtime, Ritchie and I were still awake while he was crying. Sure, it was hard and it broke my heart and all, but I wasn't losing much sleep. He was crying from 8-9 pm, not so much in the middle of the night. Bennett would have been doing cry it out in the middle of the night, when I could have just nursed him and put him right back to sleep. 

Anyway, so why not keep it going? Well, the other day during nap Ben let out this weird cry and I ran in to see what was up and he was face down in the rock and play sleeper thing. Face down and swaddled. He was able to lift his head and look at me, but it freaked me out. I told Ritchie we had to break the swaddle and the rock and play thing immediately. 

So, that night (Friday) he brought in a blow up mattress and we set out to just camp out in the living room while he cried in our room. Then, my back went all insane and was spasming and we decided to just give it a go with sleeping in our bed and doing cry it out with him in there. Anyway, he went down no problem. He was awake, but rolled onto his tummy and went right to sleep. We went to bed around 10:30 and he was still asleep. 

Okay, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe he was just ready. 

11:40. He wakes and I feed him and go to put him in the crib. He was asleep and woke right up and started crying. So, we started the timer. 3 min. Ritchie soothed him. As soon as Ritchie stopped soothing him (we rub his back and say soothing words, we don't pick up) he cried again. Timer - 5 min. I soothed him. As soon as I stopped he started up again. Timer - 7 min. From there on out we set the timer every 7 minutes as per Dr. Ferber's rules and this continued for 3 EFFING HOURS. Finally, at 2:40, I decided that 3 hours was enough. I fed the kid and put him back in the crib, hoping he'd stay asleep. Nope. So, Ritchie rocked him to sleep (it took about 10 min) and put him in the crib. He stayed asleep until 5:30 and then I nursed him and let him stay in bed with us, where he slept until 8:00 a.m. 

Holy sheet did that suck. 

We didn't know what we were going to do and that worked out well because the next day Bennett was all congested and snotty and felt a bit warm. Teething maybe or a little cold - whatever it was/is we decided that all bets are off when the baby doesn't feel well. Saturday night we did everything we could to keep him comfortable and happy. Rock and Play was back, swaddle was back, but mostly we just held him all night long because he was so miserable. Poor little babe. 

He was still congested on Sunday so we vowed to do the same thing last night, just keep the poor bugger happy so he could rest and get better. And, what happened?! He slept (swaddled, in the rock and play sleeper) from 8-1 and then from 1-5:30. So, essentially, it was a dream. At 5:30 I brought him in bed with me and cuddled/slept with him until 7:30. 

So, now what do we do?! I don't sleep well personally when he's in the rock and play thing now because I'm all paranoid he'll flip over again (though, I'm sure he would let us know or we would hear him moving a ton?). 

Ugh. The doctor advocates the crying, but also says he'll grow out of it. I'm not sure if our first attempt was just a fluke because he was starting to get sick or if he's just super stubborn and this method of sleep training just isn't going to work on him. I know we can't give up after one night, but I'm not eager to go through that again any time soon. 

Any suggestions? 


The Burger Family said...

let me start by saying I NEVER wanted or tyhought about co-sleeping Brandon and I know this is not the proper use for a boppy however we went thru the SAME thing you guys are going thru!! we would prop up or put brandons butt in the circle part of the boppy between us in bed with both of us sleeping inward on each side of the boppy...slept like a dream and really no place for himt o rool to except us, and we slept which made us love him that much more durring te day and night.. i read and read and read every sleep book and figured that eventually he will sleep aloe which no he does everynight unless he is sick and then he sleeps between us, goes right t sleep so no long term damagae has been done. might be worth a try just for a few more hours of sleep. i just felt better when i coul dhear him breathing, snoring right there next to me.

Carly said...

Funny that I was about to write a similar "sleep help" post. Our little boy is obviously younger than yours, but sleep issues are probably the worst to deal with...because you're obviously not getting any sleep. I hope you guys get it figured out! Sorry, I have little advice at this point lol

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