We have a DAUGHTER!

We received LOA today which is a letter of approval from the CCCWA in China saying they approve the adoption of our daughter. This is a HUGE step and puts us 8-10 weeks away from traveling. And, now I am able to share some info (and a picture!) of our sweet girl! But, first... a long story :)

We started the adoption process over three years ago. Adopting from China has always been on my heart, but the adoption needs there have changed. This is a good thing! Back when I first decided (in high school) that I wanted to adopt a girl from China, girls were being abandoned by families so they could try again for a boy, keeping with the one child per household restriction. China's laws have progressed and, thankfully, that is just not happening anymore. So, when we began exploring Chinese adoption, we knew we'd adopt from their special needs program. Medical care in China is expensive and without insurances to help, if your child is born with a medical need that you can't afford to care for, you're left with few options.  Back when we began, I felt in my gut that we were to have a daughter with cleft lip and palate. We had taken some classes about the varying special needs that Chinese children frequently had, and clefts seemed the "manageable" choice. Plus, I fell in love with a few babies online with their cute little cleft lipped smiles and I felt pretty sure one of those special smiles was in my future. So, we set our medical profile to a baby girl, less than 3 with a cleft lip and palate or a very minor heart condition (meaning one that would not require surgery) and we waited. The wait for a child that matches that "profile" is about 2 years.

Fast forward a little over a year and Crosby is born with a heart condition. You all know the story, we decide that adoption, at least for now, is off the table. We never pulled out of the program though, we simply removed the cleft lip and palate option and now were left with only minor heart conditions, for which the wait is significantly longer... so long in fact that we had virtually zero chance of ever being called on. Which, at that time, was what we needed.

Fast forward two years. Crosby is two, we're back on the adoption track! We had considered so many variables that led us right back to our path of a child with a cleft lip and palate from China. So, we added that back to our checklist and started getting ourselves current with our home study and immigration so that we could be matched! They keep your spot in line, so we were first and ready to go as soon as we were current on everything.

Now, the medical checklist does have a need listed as moderate/major heart conditions. We had never been open to that need. In the classes, there were several things about the heart discussed and, honestly, most of it scared the bejeezus out of me. Tetralogy of Fallot was one that I specifically remember being like... "ooooh no, that sounds really scary".

Can you guess where I'm going with this?

It had been 3 years since we'd taken those classes, and I had not thought any further about any of those needs since. We had decided on cleft lip and palate. BUT, as we began saving money, doing our home study, and preparing to be matched this time around, I bean having dreams. Well, not dreams I guess, just WORDS. Three little words coming to me over and over again in my sleep. TETRALOGY OF FALLOT. This happened for over a week before I worked up the nerve to talk to Ritchie about it. Ritchie has always been up for adoption, but it's my dream, not his. I didn't want to add to it or make it more challenging or scary than it already is. But, the words. They were calling to me. Crosby had a cardiology appointment coming soon so we decided not to change the medical checklist yet, but to ask our cardiologist about the major heart conditions that China typically sees in their children (I had gotten a short list from our agency), including Tetralogy of Fallot.

There was one specific condition that she warned was pretty complex, but other than that we left feeling pretty confident that we were now open to moderate/major heart conditions. It's crazy to think we didn't consider it at first because A. Crosby has what is considered a major heart condition and 2. we have a children's cardiologist and are already in that world!

Anyway, so we added that to the checklist and finished up everything we needed to. The words in my sleep had stopped, but in my gut I knew we'd have a daughter with a heart condition, specifically Tetralogy of Fallot. Now, we still kept cleft lip and palate on our checklist and were told several times by our agency that is was more likely we'd be called about a child with a cleft than a child with a heart condition, they just see more of those. So, I did some diligent research and made sure we remained open to cleft lip/palate, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that, after those words, TETRALOGY OF FALLOT sinking their way into my mind and heart, I was hoping for a baby girl with just that.

Fast forward to Tuesday, June 28th. WE GET THE CALL. I see the (303) area code pop up (our agency is in CO) and I promptly freak out and run around my living room in circles. "Guess what happened at CCAI today?" Cue tears. I was shaking and trying so hard just to hear EVERYTHING she was telling me about my girl. I knew this was her. Before she even said it. But she did say it. "She has something called Hexalogy of Fallot, which is basically Tetralogy of Fallot but with two more things added to it." What my heart did in that moment.... well, I can't even tell you. I already knew, but then I KNEW. (Wanted to add that we have since had her records looked at by two different drs, one who specializes in internationally adopted children, and Crosby's cardiologist. Both have confirmed that she just has standard Tetralogy of Fallot. They have no idea where this hexalogy business comes from. This is common with translations of files... it's easy to change things a bit through translation).

So, what can I tell you about our girl? She's currently 15 months old. Her birthday is 5 days after Crosby's, so they're 1 year and 5 days apart in age. She began WALKING at 13 months which makes her my youngest walker to date! The Dr's say her development and growth are all right on target which is quite impressive for a child who is both in an orphanage and has a pretty major heart condition. Basically, our daughter is amazing. She says mama and baba (which is what they commonly say for Dada). We've seen a video of her where a child tries to take a snack from her hand and she promptly screams, tears it away from them, and then is happy as a clam. So... she's got some spunk. She is very attached to her ayi (nanny) and loves to be held and cuddled which is heartbreaking because they will be separated, but a very good sign in terms of her ability to attach well to others.  She had her first surgery for her heart in May and we're still getting more information about that, but we have heard that she recovered well and it was deemed a success, so now we just wait on the actual records of the surgery to be reported. She may need one surgery once home or later in life, she may not. A lot will depend on what they did in China for her. Other than that, she will just be a normal girl. Running, jumping, playing, etc.. she'll have checkups every 6 months just like Crosby. Our two little heart babies.

I'm showing a picture, so I'm not going to give her Chinese name or location. The Chinese give two names and hers mean "of language and culture" and "hibiscus" like the Hawaiian flower. We will keep a portion of her Chinese name as her middle name.

We think there's never been a more perfect girl. To be so in love with someone you've never met but is out there just waiting in a foreign country is the wildest thing. We're coming for you, June! We LOVE you!

Longing for my Daughter

After our move to Washington and Crosby's birth, I felt myself begin to sink. I tried to float - hell, I tried to SWIM through the tough currents of life but I have felt, for two years, off and on, like I'm being PULLED beneath the surface, barely able to keep my head above water enough to breathe. It's an awful feeling. I have tried to search and figure out what it was that kept me in this state. We've struggled financially since the move, with Ritchie taking a large pay cut to move us out here (a small sacrifice we thought for all of the potential opportunity here -jobs in tech were hard to come by in Denver). Then we had Crosby, and got his aortic stenosis diagnoses. A feeling I can't ever explain and I wouldn't wish on anyone. The pain of hearing that something is WRONG with your child. We've been SO fortunate that his condition has remained stable and we haven't had to do anything surgical yet. It's coming, but I feel so much more equipped two years in than I did days after his birth. With Crosby's diagnoses came a big life change of deciding to put off (or just not complete at all) our adoption. We didn't think we could handle two children with medical conditions. We also found ourselves unable to fund it with the income loss and sudden medical bills (we received ALL of our prenatal bills at once from Colorado and it was a SHOCK - throw in a birth and heart condition bills and we were flat broke).

I simply chalked it up to fate and tried to let go of the dream of parenting a girl. But I couldn't. It kept coming back to me. We still couldn't afford it, though. A little over a year later, we became licensed foster parents and we've taken a few short term placements to feel it out. Something about it doesn't feel right for us. I wish I could explain that better, but I'm not sure I can. It's a feeling, a gut intuition, that foster care is not the right path for us. With that realization, I felt the water overflow right over my head. Air GONE. That's the only way I can describe it. Pain, no air, feeling weak and stupid because I HAVE THREE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL BOYS AND SHOULDN'T I BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

My desire to have a daughter is very real. It's not something I have been able to just work past. Ritchie and I brainstormed and budgeted and searched and talked and tried to figure out the best path for me to fulfill this desire and it wasn't until we came right back to the adoption from China of a little girl with a cleft lip and palate that I felt... PEACE. My head came fully out of the water. I felt more present with my children, happier with my husband, my life seemed to make sense again. It's like I hadn't been able to reconcile that loss of something I never even had and finally I realized that I hadn't come to terms with just not having a daughter. What's even bigger is I realized that these feelings, this desire, is worth fighting for. It's worth the costs, the paperwork, the adding more to our family's plate, etc... because in my gut, and more importantly IN MY HEART, I know this is right for our family.

I was meant to have a daughter from China. I've always felt this IN MY BONES. Like, there's a piece of me IN China. It's the most bizarre thing. If someone else said that and I hadn't experienced it first hand, I would be so judgmental. Like, weird voodoo magic hippy crap that isn't real, right? It feels so real, it's almost unbelievable to ME and I'm the one feeling it.

Anyway, we're working on it. We're working on bringing our girl home. It's a bit of a process still because we have to redo some paperwork (a lot of thing expire after a year and we're THREE years in now) and, most importantly, gather some funds. But, we're going to DO this. And I cannot wait.

As We Wait...

We should be licensed for foster care any day now. Once licensed, we should have a child in our home within a few weeks, at the very most a few months. The waiting is sort of hard, sort of not. Fostering is this whole tricky new world that, six months ago, I never thought I'd experience.

In truth? I'm nervous. I'm excited, yes. But, mostly nervous. Here are the things I've been worrying over while I'm in this period of waiting.

1. I'm worried that Crosby will feel jealous of losing attention. Don't we always worry about our kids when a new one is coming around? And, I worry about Crosby more because he's never had a new child come into the family like the other two have. Plus, he's my baby and gets 99% of my attention when he's awake.

2. I worry that I'll be stretched too thin. Not only are we bringing in a 4th child, but we're bringing in a 4th child that doesn't have established trust or a bond with us. We'll have to work extra hard to establish routines and follow through with every little thing because we don't have her implied trust that comes with birth. I guess I imagine a child that cries a whole lot and is confused and anxious and I also have three boys who need love and guidance and time and energy. Will I be able to do it all?! So scary to me.

3. I'm worried that it will be obvious that I didn't give birth to her and people will comment about how I just HAD to have a girl because I have the three boys and that my boys will hear that and feel inadequate or like they weren't enough. Or that she'll hear and think that we only want her because she's a girl. I feel so judged for this decision already and there's not even the visual reminder for everyone yet.

4. Mostly, I worry about loving her too much. I know that sounds crazy. But I fear that I'll love her like my own and she'll go back to her birth family and I'll be destroyed. And, if I'm destroyed, what will happen to my children? Will I still be able to be there for them? This fear plagues me the most. I'm keeping a VERY open mind and trying to keep the perspective that she is simply not ours. She has a mommy and daddy who love her and need some help and we're helping by loving her while they get better. It's SO easy to talk about, very hard to practice I imagine.

There's more, but I'll stop now because I realize that this isn't the most uplifting post. When we do welcome her to our family, I will post pictures of her, but have decided not to show her face in pictures for our family's protection. I am also not allowed to share her name, so we'll be using a nickname or simply calling her by her first initial in public. If you know us well and know her name PLEASE never comment using her name. It's a true safety issue as bio families are typically local and sometimes try to find the children the state has removed from them and take them back. I'll update as much as I'm able, but will keep specifics private.

It should be an exciting month for us! I can't wait to see where this journey takes us.

Here We Go Again...

Do you want to hear something really embarrassing about me? A psychic once said I would marry a good man, the one I was with (which was Ritchie) and that we would soon buy our first home (which we did) and that we would have 3 children, 2 biological and 1 adopted. Because the first two things happened pretty soon after his predictions, I naturally believed the third one to be true as well. When we found out Ben was a boy, I knew right then that was all part of the "plan". We had two boys and would adopt a girl and be done! Wow! Psychics really can predict the future!

Fast forward 2 years. We're in the adoption process and then BAM. Pregnant. A third biological child. Psychics make for terrible birth control. Okay, so we'll have 4 kids! No big deal! On with the plan with one minor hiccup. 

Fast forward 7 months. We decide to move to Washington. We knew this would alter our adoption plans to some degree. We'd have to redo our home study (which we'd have to do when Crosby was born anyway) and Ritchie took a significant pay cut when we moved, so saving money to continue the adoption would be slower. 

Fast forward 2 months. Crosby is born and we find out he has a heart condition. We don't know what the next year looks like for him and we're scared and overwhelmed and all we know is we definitely cannot handle two small children with medical needs. We change our adoption medical profile to be a girl who also has a minor heart condition, which keeps us on track for adoption but extends our time to be matched by 12-18 months. 

Fast forward one year. Crosby is one. He has had no changes in his condition and hasn't required surgery. Once he reached the one year mark, his chances for needing surgery immediately went down. We're also understanding and more comfortable with what it looks and feels like to have a child with a medical need. Once you get past the shock, it feels more manageable to us. I start really having the desire to complete our adoption. 

Conversations begin to open up again. Ritchie and I both have the heart for adoption, we always have. We'd both LOVE to welcome another child (a girl, because, frankly, there's enough boys around here) into our family. The problem now is that we'd need to come up with over $20,000 to complete our adoption. We could do that, but it would take a few years and put a lot of other financial goals on hold. 

We've discussed other avenues of adoption before and nothing ever felt quite right to us until now. Very recently we opened the discussion again of fostering to adopt. I've reached out to other families doing this in our community and have heard some amazing stories and felt really inspired. Ritchie immediately opened up to this idea and, last week, we turned in our application to be licensed for fostering and adopting locally. 

There are many, many, amazing things about fostering. Opening your home to children in need of love and support during a frightening time is rewarding and teaches our own children about community and compassion. That said, this journey will not be without struggles. I'm not wearing my rose colored glasses here. I'm mentally preparing myself for the largest devastation my heart has ever endured. My biggest fear is falling in love with a child and then having to give her back to her birth mom/dad/grandparent. This will likely happen. A good foster parent IS attached to their foster child and has a child attach to them as well. This is part of the process.  It may happen a few times before we're placed with a child whose parents will have their rights terminated so that we can adopt. 

This will not be easy. So many logistics. Parent visits, phone calls, readjusting to a new child, then saying goodbye, then welcoming another one. We're open to newborns, so we're facing sleepless nights again. Tons and tons of unknowns. We will not know that the little girl we have will be ours forever until the courts finalize everything. Up until that last minute, it could always change. 

There's all of that, yes. HOWEVER, I hold out hope that one day we WILL adopt a girl who needs a family and our family will be complete and all of that heartache and headache and pain and hoop jumping will be 100% worth it. I know that ultimately we will not regret one moment of this decision. 

And so... here we go again. This life, 3 boys and foster care and adopting locally and maybe even an open adoption. This was all NOTHING I had ever dreamed of. And certainly the psychic never saw this coming! But, here we are. I'll update more as I know more, but for now we're just working on getting licensed. We should be done by September and welcoming our first placement of a little girl up to three years of age by the end of this year. 

For now, we hang on tight and enjoy the ride. And we stop trusting psychics. 

An Adoption Update

Or... a lack of one, really. To be honest, we're not really sure what the heck is happening with our adoption plans.

When Crosby was diagnosed with aortic stenosis, we really had to take a step back and figure some things out. We're still not exactly sure what aortic stenosis is going to mean in our lives. For now, it's not a huge deal. But, when it comes time for surgery and recovery, we have no idea what we're in for. Both financially and emotionally. Our adopted daughter was also expected to have a physical special need. Either also a heart condition or a cleft lip/palate. Both would require surgery most likely. We just felt unsure of whether or not we could handle two children with medical needs.

That feels so horrible to say or even think. I feel tremendous guilt over these thoughts and struggle regularly with these realities. I so wish I felt like I had the strength to commit to another baby amidst learning of Crosby's condition. But, the truth is, I didn't. So, after some thought, we removed the option for cleft lip/palate from our medical checklist. We're now only open to receiving a child with a minor heart condition. We already have a team of specialists that we're working with and we assume we'll be pretty well versed on matters of the heart (we already know more than I ever thought I'd have to) so we'd be the perfect parents for a baby with a minor heart condition. For now, that's where our comfort lies. FOR NOW. That could all change. We might get to Crosby's first birthday (the first year with this condition is the most telling) and realize that his stenosis will most likely have very little impact on our lives and feel perfectly comfortable committing to a child with higher medical needs than his. We'll just have to wait and see.

The wait for a child with only a minor heart condition is much longer. We were supposed to be matched by now, or very soon. Now, we're likely to wait another year or longer even just to be matched. And, in that time, any number of things can happen. We may decide to add cleft lip/palate back on the checklist, we may decide we would like to wait even longer than 18 months and expand our wait even longer, or we may decide not to pursue adoption anymore at this time. We really just don't know how we're going to feel.

I'd be lying if I said there wasn't heartbreak involved in all of this. I feel some peace knowing that we could very well still adopt a sweet girl and that I could look back on this and know that this was just all a small part of her story. The story that brings us together. But, there's also the very real possibility that our family is complete and I'll never know her. Which also means I'll never experience raising a daughter. These potential losses feel very real to me. Yet, grieving feels wrong somehow.

I intend to write some about postpartum depression since I'm certain I'm experiencing that this time around. And I'm almost 100% certain my depression began after Crosby's diagnoses and our adoption plans changed. Such a hard thing to have your life course rapidly change after so much anticipation and preparation. But then, I feel so odd grieving something I never actually had. And, of course, I feel so grateful for my three boys and that (even given the stenosis!) they're healthy and thriving. Why grieve?

So, that's where we are. Limbo. Thanks for reading. Putting this out into the void helps some. We have tremendous support in our lives and I couldn't ask for a better partner in Ritchie. We'll figure this all out. Someday.

Merry Christmas!

Us Lincolns hope you all enjoy your holiday and are surrounded by love and laughter not just today, but always. Thanks for following along on our journey. We love sharing it with you! 

* And did you notice? "P"'s name was finally revealed. We can't wait to meet both Finn and Penny (hopefully!!) in 2014!

Fall Happenings

It's technically still fall until Dec 20th, yes? Go with it. I know we're all trees and hot cocoa in blog land right now, but what can I say? I'm behind.

Here is what our fall looked like.











Max and Ben each picked a little pumpkin at a small trip to the local pumpkin patch, but I asked them to pick a pumpkin for Finnley and our adopted daughter, too. Max picked the tiniest one for Finn and that green one for P. It sort of blew me away that he chose one that looked so different from the others for our Chinese family member. Unique and special. It was his favorite pumpkin over all the others. Max and P will have a special bond, I think.




They hold hands a lot. It makes me happy.

I took the boys on a very cold nature walk. They really loved choosing items and loading them into a bag. We never even did anything with them, just collected things. That was enough.









And a trip to a big pumpkin patch about an hour away.











And near freezing kite flying.. this really is Colorado in the fall. 70s one day, 20s the next.









And then leaf piles on a beautiful day.





 It really was an awesome fall for us. Despite weeks and weeks of sickness for my family. Many days cooped up, frustration, rising tempers, no naps, etc... This is why I blog. So I can look back and remember amidst some really stressful times that life is, indeed, good. And not in a "look at everything we have!!" sort of way, either. It's pumpkin patches and green pumpkins chosen for family members we haven't met. It's leaf piles and kites and seeing the big smiles on the faces of my most precious boys.

Sigh. I needed this tonight.

Adoption and Pregnancy Questions Answered!

Okay, first up, the adoption. Here's where we're at: Home study is COMPLETED! We're officially awaiting our immigration approval (it takes 60-90 days) and then all of our initial paperwork is complete! Phew! That took forever! After that we're just waiting to be matched to our girl!

Here are some of the most commonly asked questions about our adoption/daughter and the answers!

Q. When will you get her?
A. We're not exactly sure, but we're "scheduled" to be matched in February and then we travel 4-6 months later. So... next summer if everything goes according to schedule.

Q. How old will she be when you get her?
A. We requested to bring home a child that was somewhere between 1-2 1/2 years old.

Q. Do you know who she is?
A. Not yet! We should get to see some pictures and read all about our girl sometime early next year (February is our estimated time).

Q. Will you keep her Chinese name?
A. We will give her an American first name that we have chosen, and we will use her Chinese name as her middle name.

Q. How long is the process?
A. It differs for everyone! We're looking at about 18 months from our application to bringing her home.

Here are some of the top pregnancy questions I've gotten and their answers:

Q. How are you feeling?
A. Terrible! The whole spectrum of symptoms. Nausea, headaches, acne, exhaustion, boobs on fire, dizziness and by the end of the day I honestly feel like I might have the flu, my whole body just hurts. Plus I look (and feel) about 26 weeks pregnant when I'm only 11.

Q. Was this planned?
A. Um, no.

Q. Do you hope this one is a girl?
A. Yes! However, the pressure is definitely off as we're going to have a daughter through adoption no matter what. Although, the thought of three boys sort of makes me want to go cry in the corner. I LOVE my boys to pieces, wouldn't trade them for the world. If this little one is a boy,  I'll feel the same about him.

Q. Will you find out the gender?
A. YES! I already did some blood work that tells you the gender and I should have the results in the next few weeks. At that time, we're going to do a little reveal party. I'll be sure to post about it then!

Q. Are you done now?
A. We were done before this one came along, so, yes. I smell a vasectomy in someone's future.

Q. Will you do another home birth?
A. No, not this time. Our insurance covered it last time, and this time it doesn't. We have chosen a midwife/birthing center in a hospital that we feel really comfortable with.

That's all everyone has been wanting to know! Any other questions, feel free to ask! I love talking about adoption, pregnancy and myself :)

Here's some fun math for you on a Wednesday. When we return home from China (as long as it's according to the estimated schedule) I will have the following aged children: Max (4), Ben (3), adopted daughter (1-2 1/2?) and Littlest Lincoln (5 months). That's 4 children under the age of 5. Hold me. And send coffee.

Life is what happens when you're making plans...

This post could also be titled "Family Planning Gone Awry..."



Was that a clear enough announcement?

Yes, it's true!



While we were (not-so) patiently awaiting being matched with our precious daughter in China, we received some VERY unexpected news that we would be getting a baby MUCH sooner and in a much different way than we had ever thought.

The littlest Lincoln will be born mid March of 2014. We're still awaiting being matched and are loosely "scheduled" to go to China to bring her home in August of 2014. We'll add two new children to our family next year.

Life doesn't always go as planned. Sometimes, it's SO much better.

A WINNER (Finally!) and an Update!

First of all, THANK YOU for being so patient while I gathered some info from the fundraiser. The winner of the $50 Stella & Dot gift card is HILLARY CUMMINGS! Congratulations, Hillary! Please email me your address and I'll get that in the mail to you :)

A huge thank you to everyone who purchased and helped spread the word!

SO much has been happening lately with the adoption! We've done our physicals, our financial statement and adoption petition and ordered a million copies of marriage and birth certificates. We've met twice with our social worker who is putting together approximately 30 pages that basically paints the picture that is our entire lives. We meet with her one more time and then she finishes that and we can begin sending papers every which way to get them authenticated, sealed and what not before they can go to China. At that point, we will be what is called LID (logged in Dossier) which basically means WE CAN BE MATCHED TO OUR DAUGHTER ANYTIME AFTER THAT!! We're still a good 4 months at least away from being LID, but that's the next big step!

So, we're pretty excited to be active in the process now! I know once we're LID their will likely still be a good little wait (4-6 months) before we're matched, but it feels darn good to be working towards bringing the little miss home.

That's all I have for you today! Ritchie and I are spending our very first night away from the boys this weekend and let me tell you, after this week, I REALLY am looking forward to it!

"Have You Always Known You Wanted to Adopt?"

Whenever I tell people that we're adopting they always ask me, "Did you always want to adopt?" or, "What makes you want to adopt?" Those are definitely the two most commonly asked questions and so, I am answering them today.

I think I was in High School when I heard somewhere that girls in China are given up for adoption so that the family could try for a boy. China had restrictions on how many children they could have and boys were coveted. This broke my heart and right then and there I resolved that someday, somehow I would adopt one of those unwanted baby girls from China.

Ritchie and I discussed adoption early in our relationship and it was always left up to, "We'll see what happens, but we'd love to do that someday". Adoption is expensive, plain and simple and the many times we really began to look into it we didn't meet the requirements for a China adoption. Our conversations never went much further than that.

Fast forward. Two beautiful boys later and the discussion of more babies begins. I had been following another blogger,  Ashley Ann's, story about bringing home her daughter with a cleft lip and palate from China through the Waiting Child program. The Waiting Child program specializes in placing children with special needs from China into families. It lit a little fire inside of me. That seed that had been planted all those years ago in High School began to sprout. I began to slowly research a China adoption again and, this time, we fit the requirements. Coincidentally, I began to look into agencies that catered to the Waiting Child program in China, found a reputable one locally and immediately spoke with several local families that had used and loved that agency.


Our boys that cannot wait to bring home their baby sister.

A deeper discussion began. Ritchie quickly fell in love with the idea of bringing home a baby from the Waiting Child program, which was something we hadn't considered before in our previous adoption discussions. The more we talked and researched and sought out other families that had adopted, the more we longed to begin the process. The more we began to feel like our daughter was out there and we NEEDED to get her home.

And so we began. Beginning the adoption process without all the funds you need readily available for you takes a huge leap of faith. We know we have a daughter in China waiting for us. We're trusting we'll somehow get her to us. Faith.


Our family. Soon to be five. Five sounds awesome to me.

One way we're working to get her home is by trying to ease some of the many expenses with fundraising.  My amazingly generous friend Gemma has helped me organize a Stella & Dot fundraiser. For the entire month of April, for any purchase made through Gemma's Stella & Dot website, 100% of the proceeds go to our adoption. 100% of the money made goes to BRINGING OUR BABY GIRL HOME. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for friends like Gemma who are so generously helping us raise funds.

There are 3 ways you can help us bring our girl home.

1. Click on the link below and make a purchase through Gemma's Stella & Dot website.

Gemma's Site!

Make sure to go to the top where it says, "Find Your Hostess" and type in Jamie Lincoln. 

2.  Don't need jewelry, but still want to help? We're accepting Paypal donations through a link on my blog. Any donation, big or small is valuable and appreciated.

3. Spread the word! Tweet, Instagram, Facebook, your own blog. Any way you're willing to help spread the word is SO helpful.

Furthermore, there's a giveaway!! Gemma is offering a $50 gift card to her website if you make a purchase in April OR if you donate on my blog.

All you need to do to enter the giveaway is make your purchase in April through Gemma's site or donate on my blog:

www.thelincolnslife.blogspot.com

Even better? For every $5 you donate or spend at Stella & Dot you get 1 entry. Spend $20? 4 entries! Donate $50, 10 entries! Up your chances of winning with every $5 that you spend/donate.

Visit my blog and leave a comment saying which way you contributed to our adoption and you'll be entered! A winner will be chosen at random on May 1.

Updated to add:

My friend Dana has contacted me and wants to help, too! She's offering me 20% of her proceed for Mary Kay products through the entire month of April! Click on her link to order some awesome skin care and beauty products and help support our adoption!

Dana's Mary Kay Site! 

She's also putting anyone who spends $40 or over into a drawing for something special at the end of the month!

Thanks so much to Dana, Gemma and EVERYONE who supports our adoption. Let's get our girl home!

Updated AGAIN:

Another fabulous friend has offered to donate 100% of her proceeds for the month of April for Pampered Chef!

Mindy's Pampered Chef Site! 

I'm entering ANYONE who buys from any of these sites into the Stella & Dot giveaway as well as those who donate directly on the blog. Remember, every $5 towards a purchase or donation gives you one entry!


Thank you all for taking the time to read my story and support our adoption!

Our Adoption Journey Begins

Even as I write this, I'm a bit hesitant on what to share, what not to share. I want to document this whole journey, whatever the outcome because of the huge impact I'm sure it will make on my life. However, there's SO MUCH that factors into the adoption process (money, particularly) that I'm not sure I want to get into in such a public venue. So, where does this leave us?


Our application packet. Yeah, it was that thick. 


I guess it leaves us with emotions and a bit of the process. How's that? I'm going to go into detail later about just how adoption came to be our path right now, but that's a whole different post. I'm going to start with where we are now.

Right now, we're waiting. We'll be doing a lot of that I suppose. We're waiting to apply (but not much longer). We're getting fingerprints done, they're checking our references, we're filling out a lot of detailed paperwork. We plan to have our application into the agency by the end of March. At that point we'll begin our home study.

Over a later dinner, we begin filling out our application. 


Most importantly, we've completed the very initial paperwork that puts us "in line" to receive our daughter. That means in 6-12 (most likely closer to 12) months we will be matched and see a picture of our daughter. She may not even be born yet, but she has most definitely been created and is growing.

A bit of organization is also happening... 

She is either developing or has developed something that her birth family will be unable to handle, for whatever reason. Something that will separate her from her birth parents. Something that will bring her to us. It makes me look at "disorders", "disabilities" and "diseases" in a whole new light. It's those very words that enable us to bring a sweet girl home to call our own.

She is/will soon be considered a "waiting child". We are currently a waiting family. Waiting to be shown our daughter and learn what it is that makes her so special that she was brought to our lives. And until then... we'll just keep on waiting. Well, that and filling out a TON of paperwork, talking to social workers, etc etc :) I suppose there's still a lot that could get in our way, but the bottom line is I believe that this is right for our family and I believe it will happen.

And just like that, the next chapter of our story begins.