Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Brain Dump

It's 8:14 AM on a Wednesday. I should be facilitating readying my children to take Max to preschool, packing lunch, helping the kids share. But, I need to write.

Just a little dumping of the brain in hopes that it won't keep spinning today if I do this:

Disclaimer: This is all jumbled and just a free flow of what comes out. Sorry.

What does it say about me that I'd be in heaven just to have ONE day to sit on my ass, eat microwaved smore's, watch trashy TV and just waste the day away? Am I lazy? Unproductive? Normal? This won't happen (until all of my children are in school at least, then IT'S ON) for a very long time. But, just the fact that this is something I desire leaves me wondering about my own integrity. Integrity? Yeesh. That seems a big word for this topic. Oh well.

These next 15+ months will be the longest of my life. I cannot accurately depict what it's like to know you have a daughter but have no idea who she is, what she's been/is going through or when exactly you'll hold her in your arms. And, furthermore, when you FINALLY reach that blissful moment where you CAN hold her, you'll be filled with the realization that you're actually just a stranger to her. Ripping her away from everyone/thing she's ever known. Bonding will take time, it could be years even. See, I think the waiting is the hardest part and I guess I'm afraid that I really have no idea how hard all of this will be.

I worry that my sons might hate each other. How do I foster a loving sibling relationship amongst two such different beings? I'm SO TIRED of saying things like, "I know it's hard to share..." I just want to scream, "JUST SHARE YOUR DAMN TOYS!!" I don't. The look on their faces would immediately make me want to crawl under a rock, but seriously. The sharing? Does it mean they hate each other? Maybe I should shove them into one t-shirt and call it a day.

I'm an open book and I'm beginning to wonder if that just doesn't fare well with... socializing. I'm trying to be social, but really I wonder if I have what it takes. I get nervous and over share. Or I just am an over-sharer in general? Also, I'm messy. I guess I feel sometimes like, "Why would anyone like me?" Come on over to my incredibly messy home and let me talk your ear off. Sounds SUPER fun for others. But, I NEED to be social, too. As hard and uncomfortable as it is for me at times, if I'm cooped up in all my antisocial glory, it never ends well.

Marriage is insanely hard sometimes. I mean, think about it. You've decided to enter into THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with ONE person? I'm sure Ritchie is fully sick of my talking non-stop and the messes I leave. Yesterday, he commented on the number of smore's I've consumed in the past week. I'm sick of him snoring, putting his dirty socks in the shoe basket (Babe, that's NOT the laundry basket) and NOT wanting to talk all night long. We're in this weird place. I'm home, with close to no adult interaction and he's interacting with others ALL DAY LONG. At the end of the day, we need different things. All I can say is, compromise. Or, as Ritchie likes to put it, "both feeling just a little bit miserable". He may be right about that one (but don't tell him that!)

Disclaimer: My marriage is fine. We love each other and all that. But, that doesn't make it EASY. And, that's okay. Maybe that means we're doing it right.

Okay, that concludes my rambling. We'll be late for preschool. That's also okay. I'm so over trying to be "perfect". I'm just not. Is this what happens in your 30s? You realize that maybe you're just YOU and learn how to love that? I hope so.

And here:

Because I read somewhere that you should never have a blog post without a picture. 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Adoption Updates

Just a reminder that I'm still running my fundraiser through the month of April! Which means there are still chances for you to win a Stella & Dot gift card or a prize from the Mary Kay line!

Here are just a few of my favorites from each of the fundraisers running:

Stella & Dot just released BAGS! Holy moly, I freaking love these. Like, LOVE.

How adorable is this?! 

Oh, and this one has elephants on it AND it unzips in the middle to become larger for a weekend getaway. Hmm... Mother's Day anyone? Like, for YOU. Or your mom, whichever ;) 

And my personal fav:

Stripes, large, camel colored leather. I'm in. 

Oh and SCARVES?! 

Stella & Dot really has every great accessory you can think of. AND Mother's Day really is right around the corner. It's the perfect time to do some shopping for yourself and your momma. Because you both deserve it, yes? 

You can buy any of these items on Gemma's Site and make sure to "find your hostess" and type in Jamie Lincoln because we get all of the proceeds towards our adoption! 

Mary Kay is also stocked full of wonderful products designed to make you feel fabulous!! 

With summer just around the corner, the Mary Kay line of sunscreen is a PERFECT buy right now! 

Also, fresh new colors to update your spring and summer make-up are always a good idea! 

That color is called "Sunset". Am I the only one who picks my beauty products based on their awesome titles? Hmm... 

Dana has generously offered my 20% of her earnings from her Mary Kay site for the month of April. So, shop away! For every $40 you spend with Mary Kay, Dana will enter you in an additional drawing for a special Mary Kay prize. 

Lastly, Pampered Chef has been included in our April fundraiser as well! 

They have some really awesome Summer essentials, too! 

How cute is that ice bucket? Perfect for outdoor entertaining! 

And one of my FAVORITE foods are sweet potato fries. This fry cutter would certainly make my job easier! 

So cool right? Pampered Chef has tons of cool products! Things I would never think of, but they're really SO useful! 

Mindy has offered me all of her proceeds for the month of April at her site as well!! Remember to mention my name when it prompts you at checkout time. Jamie Lincoln. 

Three generous women offering three AMAZING product lines all to help me get my girl. I'm humbled and SO insanely grateful. 

Okay, friends. Time to get shopping! Remember, for every $5 you spend or donate on my blog you get entered to win the $50 Stella & Dot gift card. I'm broadening that to any $5 you spend on ANY of these three sites. Winner will be chosen on May 1. You only have a few weeks left, so hurry! 

Thank you all for your continued support!  

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Scenes From Our Easter

This post is SO pic heavy. I was in heaven this weekend with my camera. Easter might be my favorite holiday to photograph. Sunshine, bright colors, cute outfits - I love it all!

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(Our great friends Chris and Carissa joined us for all of the fun!)

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Ben got a little bored when we went to visit the chicks and bunny at the farm.

These next few pictures... Max with the chicks. Oh, he kills me! He was IN LOVE with these baby chicks. Just look at his face. My sweet, sweet animal lover.

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Ben wasn't as sure about the little hopping chicks. His Auntie Carissa helped him feel better about them though.

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Haha! This was the "photo op" of the day. Big white bunny, white backdrop.... um, ok? My least fav, but it's kind of like the Santa picture that just HAS to be shared.

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Again with the chicks!! He could have stayed with them all day.

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I'm a bit more like Ben. But, I got over my fear of birds to hold the little chicken and, you know what? I'm a little obsessed now!! There was talk of how we could house just ONE chicken in our concrete slab of a backyard.

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Moving on to Easter morning...

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We don't have a yard really. But we have lots of pocket parks in our neighborhood. Those were perfect for Easter egg hunts!

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I hope you all had a happy Easter!!
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