Here We Go Again...

Do you want to hear something really embarrassing about me? A psychic once said I would marry a good man, the one I was with (which was Ritchie) and that we would soon buy our first home (which we did) and that we would have 3 children, 2 biological and 1 adopted. Because the first two things happened pretty soon after his predictions, I naturally believed the third one to be true as well. When we found out Ben was a boy, I knew right then that was all part of the "plan". We had two boys and would adopt a girl and be done! Wow! Psychics really can predict the future!

Fast forward 2 years. We're in the adoption process and then BAM. Pregnant. A third biological child. Psychics make for terrible birth control. Okay, so we'll have 4 kids! No big deal! On with the plan with one minor hiccup. 

Fast forward 7 months. We decide to move to Washington. We knew this would alter our adoption plans to some degree. We'd have to redo our home study (which we'd have to do when Crosby was born anyway) and Ritchie took a significant pay cut when we moved, so saving money to continue the adoption would be slower. 

Fast forward 2 months. Crosby is born and we find out he has a heart condition. We don't know what the next year looks like for him and we're scared and overwhelmed and all we know is we definitely cannot handle two small children with medical needs. We change our adoption medical profile to be a girl who also has a minor heart condition, which keeps us on track for adoption but extends our time to be matched by 12-18 months. 

Fast forward one year. Crosby is one. He has had no changes in his condition and hasn't required surgery. Once he reached the one year mark, his chances for needing surgery immediately went down. We're also understanding and more comfortable with what it looks and feels like to have a child with a medical need. Once you get past the shock, it feels more manageable to us. I start really having the desire to complete our adoption. 

Conversations begin to open up again. Ritchie and I both have the heart for adoption, we always have. We'd both LOVE to welcome another child (a girl, because, frankly, there's enough boys around here) into our family. The problem now is that we'd need to come up with over $20,000 to complete our adoption. We could do that, but it would take a few years and put a lot of other financial goals on hold. 

We've discussed other avenues of adoption before and nothing ever felt quite right to us until now. Very recently we opened the discussion again of fostering to adopt. I've reached out to other families doing this in our community and have heard some amazing stories and felt really inspired. Ritchie immediately opened up to this idea and, last week, we turned in our application to be licensed for fostering and adopting locally. 

There are many, many, amazing things about fostering. Opening your home to children in need of love and support during a frightening time is rewarding and teaches our own children about community and compassion. That said, this journey will not be without struggles. I'm not wearing my rose colored glasses here. I'm mentally preparing myself for the largest devastation my heart has ever endured. My biggest fear is falling in love with a child and then having to give her back to her birth mom/dad/grandparent. This will likely happen. A good foster parent IS attached to their foster child and has a child attach to them as well. This is part of the process.  It may happen a few times before we're placed with a child whose parents will have their rights terminated so that we can adopt. 

This will not be easy. So many logistics. Parent visits, phone calls, readjusting to a new child, then saying goodbye, then welcoming another one. We're open to newborns, so we're facing sleepless nights again. Tons and tons of unknowns. We will not know that the little girl we have will be ours forever until the courts finalize everything. Up until that last minute, it could always change. 

There's all of that, yes. HOWEVER, I hold out hope that one day we WILL adopt a girl who needs a family and our family will be complete and all of that heartache and headache and pain and hoop jumping will be 100% worth it. I know that ultimately we will not regret one moment of this decision. 

And so... here we go again. This life, 3 boys and foster care and adopting locally and maybe even an open adoption. This was all NOTHING I had ever dreamed of. And certainly the psychic never saw this coming! But, here we are. I'll update more as I know more, but for now we're just working on getting licensed. We should be done by September and welcoming our first placement of a little girl up to three years of age by the end of this year. 

For now, we hang on tight and enjoy the ride. And we stop trusting psychics. 

Crosby is ONE

Our cute baby turned ONE a few weeks ago. What can I say about this unexpected joy that we have in our life?



Okay, first let me tell you about the day! We took the boys to a kangaroo farm and got to see a ton of awesome animals and have a lot of interactions with them. It was a really cool experience.



The big boys got most of the action that day since Crosby was in the carrier, but he did LOVE looking at the animals and got to touch a kangaroo and a mule.



After lunch and nap we took the kids to Build-A-Bear, which is a tradition for us on each first birthday. The kids all still have their animals from when they turned one. Crosby chose the "Thin Mint Bear" which was pretty ridiculous, but it was the only one he got excited about.





Then we had dinner and cake and called it a day! It was SO much fun celebrating as a family of 5.





Crosby is the funniest little guy. He's energetic and stubborn and determined. He scoots along with one hand a leg all day long, opening cabinets, pulling out toys and snacks and racing to get to splash in the dog water. He LOVES to be around his brothers and isn't intimidated by them in any way. He holds his own. He's pulling himself up more and more, but I do think he'll be our latest walker and predict he'll start around 16 months. He's our strongest communicator for this age. He says, "dada, mama, ni-ni (night night), ball, uh-oh, and whoa" he signs for "more" and "all done" but mostly just grunts and stares and points until we cave and give him more or clean him up :) Sadly, he is NOT a smuggler, but he does give the world's best kisses. He loves animals, including his stuffed animals. He showers them with more affection than any human. He's about 21 pounds now and is the tiniest of our children for his age. His heart has remained unchanged since birth which is great for us! We get to just keep waiting to do anything more about it, and for now, I'll take that!

I never pictured my life with three boys, and Crosby was nowhere in our plans, but I'm SO freaking happy that life doesn't usually go according to my plans. Crosby is a gift to our family and we all love him SO SO SO much!



Happiest of birthdays to you, my sweet boy.

Kitchen Reveal Part 1

I say part one because there's still a bit more to do, but that won't be done for awhile so until then... here's the NEW(ish) kitchen! 

First let's look at what we were dealing with just 3 short weeks ago... 

Here is what the kitchen looks like today: 

First I tackled painting everything white. Then we did the ardex countertops on the main sink/prep area. Next we tackled the buffet area. Lastly, we hired someone to do the subway tile and Ritchie put on the hardware. The whole process took about 3.5 weeks and we still have a few things left to do. We need to replace the island countertops with butcher block, get different dining chairs and hang a bamboo shade for the window. 

The transformation is HUGE in this space. I can't even believe that a month ago the kitchen was an ugly oak kitchen with blue laminate counters. I'm thrilled with the change and the kitchen is definitely my favorite room in the house now! 

Our Master Bedroom

I feel like our room is done enough (as done as it will be for awhile now) to show you all!

When we bought our house this room was a lovely pale pink color. Which matched the rosy pink carpet quite well. The bathroom is also pink, with a pink countertop to boot! So, while I don't mind some pink accents, this room was clearly taking pink to a whole new level. I painted in a creamy white shade and did a gray/blue (shocking right? I mean, I never use this color!) accent wall behind the bed.












I know the photos are too big. Sorry! We still need to do some (a lot) of things to this space. Aside from new carpet (or hardwood? We can't decide) we also need new baseboards, doors and casing. I'll show off the bathroom another time. Perhaps while we're redoing it as a before/after. I'd also like to do a few smaller things. I'd love a gold frame around my book wreath and I'd love some frames surrounding the window for our black and white family photos. The dresser needs some decorating love as well.

My favorites about this space are the bedding and the large window and our walk in closet. The space feels the perfect combo of warm and light to me. But the carpet is disgusting and needs to go. And the brown doors are not my fav either. Baby steps!

More of the house to come soon I hope!

Bennett Turns 3!

Little Mr. Ben. A whole 3 years ago I was snuggling my chubby second baby. He has grown so quickly. Too quickly. He still requires too little sleep for his mama's liking. He's up with sun with lots of energy everyday. He has an intense love of television and snacks and things that go. Right before he turned 3 he decided he wanted a Hulk birthday cake (it was his only request) and so we ran with it and did a Hulk themed celebration for our special 3 year old.

We started out with a family celebration at Chuck-E-Cheese. The kids had SO much fun there, it was sort of unbelievable. They've been asking to go back EVERY day since.








We stopped for cupcakes on the way there (we knew we'd have a cake at his party on the weekend, so we wanted something easier for our small celebration) and the choice was froggies or cookie monster. Ben told me he wanted cookie monster so I got 4 of them. THE WHOLE WAY to Chuck-E-Cheese he cried and cried because I did not get the frogs. Ahh, 3 year olds. It was a true grand entrance into this territory of being 3. Tumultous? Yes. Adorable and loving? Absolutely!




He loved his hulk costume and hulk smash fists.









Even Crosby enjoyed Chuck-E-Cheese!



Over the weekend of B's birthday, my mom was in town and we, along with the Gillette's, went bowling. Bennett was sort of iffy about bowling (but he was sort of iffy about anything) so he was in a bit of a bad mood. It was a bummer, but I think overall he had a good time. If you ask him about it, he'll say he loved it!







The kids scored just as well if not better than the adults thanks to this handy little ball guide gadget.










We're thrilled to be able to celebrate with our great friends this year!! It's a first of many :)






My new favorite family shot! It's SO hard to get 5 people to look semi happy and decent. Score!




These kids... I love them all. But, this photo is PROOF that Crosby looks like Ben (haha!!)


His Hulk cake! Thank goodness 3 year olds don't care what their cakes look like! Box cake for the win!


Oh, Bennett. Your whole family loves you SO much. You're fun and loving and a great mix of sweet and spunk. Watching you grow is one of my greatest joys. I love you!