Half way done! Woo-hoo!! Although I say that like it's something we'll drop after the 10 days. We discussed tonight how much we've been enjoying this! Yes, the first few days were hard (for me) but now we're both feeling great and really figuring out how to incorporate our favorite dishes by using real food to make them.
Breakfast: Shredded wheat biscuits with milk
Lunch: Whole wheat pita with hummus and veggies
Snack: 2 energy bites
Dinner: Chicken nuggets (Yes! They were actually really good! Homemade, of course.) green beans and baked sweet potato fries (Thanks, Daphne!)
Dessert: Baked apples
Dinner was SUCH a success with the wee one tonight. He LOVED those sweet potato fries despite my poor job at baking them. I WILL perfect them though because it will be worth it. He also really liked the chicken nuggets.
Here's the verdict on the apples - they're okay. Not great. The oats that I added in lieu of the brown sugar really made it a bit dry for my liking. I'll continue to work on it. For now, NO RECIPE FOR YOU (please tell me that you used the Seinfeld soup Nazi voice for that).
Besides the baked apples, Max and I made whole wheat pumpkin bread. It was sweetened with honey and I JUST tried it along with Ritchie to test it out. Um, not so good. It's definitely not sweet enough and was a tad salty. I know I need to retrain my overly sweet taste buds, but I do think this particular recipe is lacking. So, I guess to sum up, Fall pleasures are definitely lacking for me in the real food department. I can keep working on it, or I can decide (after the 10 days) to just partake in non real food Fall pleasures in moderation. Or I can do a little of both ;)
5 days left!!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Day 4 - AKA Real food with real kids
A little late on getting day 4 to you. I was having a monumentally bad day. Being a stay at home mom of two kids ages two and under is HARD. Anyway - we powered through and I even managed to have dinner on the table by 7pm. How very June Cleaver of me.
Breakfast: Whole wheat french toast with 100& pure maple syrup and honeydew melon
Snack: Some bar thing (might have broken the rules - we were out and it was all I had in my bag - both the kid and I were starved!) It actually had mostly natural ingredients. I was so hungry I didn't care.
Lunch: Mozzarella and tomato salad with whole wheat pita topped with melted cheese
Snack: Ak-Mak crackers (so yummy!) with cheese and strawberries
Dinner: Salmon, green beans and mashed red potatoes
Dessert: No bake energy bites
More than 1 of you (okay only 2 of you - that's still more than 1) asked for the recipe for the "powerballs" I was talking about. I called them the wrong thing, but they ARE yummy so there you are! Enjoy! Please use all natural ingredients (including UNsweetened coconut) and dark chocolate chips, mkay?
No breaking the rules now.
I just wanted to touch a bit on how this real food dealy is working out with my two year old. I wish I could say that he miraculously no longer walks around asking for cookies, but that is just not the case. In fact, I think the poor lad is feeling rather deprived because he repeatedly asks for Elmo cake and pizza (which is what we had for his birthday last Saturday) no matter what we place in front of him. I will say that I'm not all crazy -lady- who- packs- her- child- an- all- natural- lunch- for- daycare so two days a week he has breakfast and lunch that is not all natural. I don't care that much. At home, ONCE I busted out the goldfish crackers because Max refused every other snack and was crying and I was feeling very guilty about how little time I spend one on one with him now that Ben is here. The goldfish totally didn't cure him (or me) of this but it made him stop crying and he ate something. So, I caved. But, just ONCE! All the other times he's with us he eats what we're eating. So every meal that I post he is eating. He LOVES the energy bites so that's a great little treat for him and he's been doing really well at eating everything we've put in front of him. I'm proud to have accomplished that much with my cookie lover (wonder where he gets that?!)
I'm testing out a JAMIE ORIGINAL (I've NEVER done this before - I always follow a recipe) recipe for baked apples in the crock pot tonight that I'm hoping turn out wonderfully! If they do, I'll be sure to share the love! I'll hopefully post tonight.
P.S. I'm feeling really good about this now and have even lost an additional 2.5 pounds. That's 4.5 pounds total in 4 days. Not too shabby. Oh, and my 1 month old is 11 pounds and 11 ounces so maybe I just shouldn't worry about losing weight affecting my milk - he seems to be eating just fine ;)
Breakfast: Whole wheat french toast with 100& pure maple syrup and honeydew melon
Snack: Some bar thing (might have broken the rules - we were out and it was all I had in my bag - both the kid and I were starved!) It actually had mostly natural ingredients. I was so hungry I didn't care.
Lunch: Mozzarella and tomato salad with whole wheat pita topped with melted cheese
Snack: Ak-Mak crackers (so yummy!) with cheese and strawberries
Dinner: Salmon, green beans and mashed red potatoes
Dessert: No bake energy bites
More than 1 of you (okay only 2 of you - that's still more than 1) asked for the recipe for the "powerballs" I was talking about. I called them the wrong thing, but they ARE yummy so there you are! Enjoy! Please use all natural ingredients (including UNsweetened coconut) and dark chocolate chips, mkay?
No breaking the rules now.
I just wanted to touch a bit on how this real food dealy is working out with my two year old. I wish I could say that he miraculously no longer walks around asking for cookies, but that is just not the case. In fact, I think the poor lad is feeling rather deprived because he repeatedly asks for Elmo cake and pizza (which is what we had for his birthday last Saturday) no matter what we place in front of him. I will say that I'm not all crazy -lady- who- packs- her- child- an- all- natural- lunch- for- daycare so two days a week he has breakfast and lunch that is not all natural. I don't care that much. At home, ONCE I busted out the goldfish crackers because Max refused every other snack and was crying and I was feeling very guilty about how little time I spend one on one with him now that Ben is here. The goldfish totally didn't cure him (or me) of this but it made him stop crying and he ate something. So, I caved. But, just ONCE! All the other times he's with us he eats what we're eating. So every meal that I post he is eating. He LOVES the energy bites so that's a great little treat for him and he's been doing really well at eating everything we've put in front of him. I'm proud to have accomplished that much with my cookie lover (wonder where he gets that?!)
I'm testing out a JAMIE ORIGINAL (I've NEVER done this before - I always follow a recipe) recipe for baked apples in the crock pot tonight that I'm hoping turn out wonderfully! If they do, I'll be sure to share the love! I'll hopefully post tonight.
P.S. I'm feeling really good about this now and have even lost an additional 2.5 pounds. That's 4.5 pounds total in 4 days. Not too shabby. Oh, and my 1 month old is 11 pounds and 11 ounces so maybe I just shouldn't worry about losing weight affecting my milk - he seems to be eating just fine ;)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Day 3
I'm happy to report that I'm feeling SO much better today about this challenge than I did the first two days! Today I felt pumped up to stay on track and make it work! I CAN find yummy substitutes for desserts and satiate my sweet tooth while eating real foods and avoiding sugar. Go me! haha!
Okay - here's the breakdown:
Breakfast: shredded wheat biscuits and banana with milk
Snack: wheat crackers and peanut butter
Lunch: Mozzarella, basil and tomato salad with oil and vinegar and whole wheat pita with hummus
Snack: Greek yogurt with homemade berry sauce
Dinner: Lentil soup with grilled cheese
Snack: Bite sized energy balls (I'm sticking with the philosophy that some dark chocolate is okay)
The bite sized energy balls may challenge the rules a tad, though I can't figure out if they do or not. The ingredients appear to be natural (no high fructose corn syrup, etc) and there was less than 5 ingredients so I think it follows the rules? But the rule maker talks a lot about missing chocolate so I feel like it's not allowed in any form? But then she uses a homemade chocolate sauce? Are you tired of me talking in all questions?
So there you have it! A better attitude. Good night!
Okay - here's the breakdown:
Breakfast: shredded wheat biscuits and banana with milk
Snack: wheat crackers and peanut butter
Lunch: Mozzarella, basil and tomato salad with oil and vinegar and whole wheat pita with hummus
Snack: Greek yogurt with homemade berry sauce
Dinner: Lentil soup with grilled cheese
Snack: Bite sized energy balls (I'm sticking with the philosophy that some dark chocolate is okay)
The bite sized energy balls may challenge the rules a tad, though I can't figure out if they do or not. The ingredients appear to be natural (no high fructose corn syrup, etc) and there was less than 5 ingredients so I think it follows the rules? But the rule maker talks a lot about missing chocolate so I feel like it's not allowed in any form? But then she uses a homemade chocolate sauce? Are you tired of me talking in all questions?
So there you have it! A better attitude. Good night!
Day 2 - AKA Calorie counting and eating real foods IS not the same thing
Yesterday I conquered day 2 of the 10 Days of Real Food Challenge. Here's what I ate:
Breakfast: plain yogurt with banana, peach and sweetened with honey and cinnamon
Snack: Shredded wheat biscuit with milk and prunes (for the regularity, you know)
Lunch: Whole wheat pitta with hummus and veggies
Snack: peanut butter with triscuit-like wheat crackers (the salt from the cracker totally made the peanut butter edible!)
Dinner - Big spinach salad with lots of veggies, cheese and sunflower seeds and two hard boiled eggs
I ate a lot more yesterday because from one day of this challenge I lost 1.5 pounds. That would be GREAT but I'm nursing and want to make sure to keep my calories up enough.
Which totally brings me to my next point. Calorie counting and this real food business is not one and the same. Eating real foods is MUCH more restrictive. Easier in one respect since I don't have to tally up points or add calories on my iphone, but much more challenging because there is zero room for indulgence.
Like last night. I really wanted something sweet that stayed within the rules. I researched online a bit and NOTHING fit the bill! Like, I can never have dessert if I eat like this?! I wanted to make these no bake power ball things (I refuse to add a link - if I can't eat them neither can you. Talk to me in 7 days. I'll be much less crabby) that had oats, peanut butter, unsweetened coconut, flax seed, etc... but I couldn't make them because they contained chocolate chips. No sugar, and some actual GOOD ingredients PLUS they're sweet. They sounded great! But those damn chocolate chips make the rules broken. And who wants a healthy power ball thing that's supposed to be sweet WITHOUT the chocolate chips?! I mean, seriously.
So.. day two has come and gone. I've done breakfast on day three following the rules despite my overwhelming desire for a salted caramel mocha from Starbucks.
Just keepin' it real. I'm not loving this.
Breakfast: plain yogurt with banana, peach and sweetened with honey and cinnamon
Snack: Shredded wheat biscuit with milk and prunes (for the regularity, you know)
Lunch: Whole wheat pitta with hummus and veggies
Snack: peanut butter with triscuit-like wheat crackers (the salt from the cracker totally made the peanut butter edible!)
Dinner - Big spinach salad with lots of veggies, cheese and sunflower seeds and two hard boiled eggs
I ate a lot more yesterday because from one day of this challenge I lost 1.5 pounds. That would be GREAT but I'm nursing and want to make sure to keep my calories up enough.
Which totally brings me to my next point. Calorie counting and this real food business is not one and the same. Eating real foods is MUCH more restrictive. Easier in one respect since I don't have to tally up points or add calories on my iphone, but much more challenging because there is zero room for indulgence.
Like last night. I really wanted something sweet that stayed within the rules. I researched online a bit and NOTHING fit the bill! Like, I can never have dessert if I eat like this?! I wanted to make these no bake power ball things (I refuse to add a link - if I can't eat them neither can you. Talk to me in 7 days. I'll be much less crabby) that had oats, peanut butter, unsweetened coconut, flax seed, etc... but I couldn't make them because they contained chocolate chips. No sugar, and some actual GOOD ingredients PLUS they're sweet. They sounded great! But those damn chocolate chips make the rules broken. And who wants a healthy power ball thing that's supposed to be sweet WITHOUT the chocolate chips?! I mean, seriously.
So.. day two has come and gone. I've done breakfast on day three following the rules despite my overwhelming desire for a salted caramel mocha from Starbucks.
Just keepin' it real. I'm not loving this.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Day 1
Day one of the ten day challenge.
I ate:
Breakfast: Whole wheat toast (with less than 5 ingredients, all that I recognized) with peanut butter (whole foods has this grinder that just takes peanuts and grinds them down into peanut butter - no Jif here! Although I'm very sad because I love my sugary peanut butter. This ground up real peanut crap is garbage. Just sayin') and a banana and milk.
Lunch: Whole wheat pita (Farmer's Market and really delicious!! I think like maybe 4 ingredients?) with hummus (again, FM and very fresh whole ingredients) and lots of veggies. Peppers, cucumber, mushrooms, spinach and tomato. YUM.
Snack: Triscuit type cracker from whole foods (only made with whole wheat and salt) with cheese and strawberries.
Dinner: Chicken, broccoli and quinoa. (um... boring).
I MAY see about some popcorn for a snack tonight.
I'm already wondering if I would reap the regularity benefits (okay, and all the other health benefits) if I went back to Jif, and was able to add in some yummy stuff. Like M&Ms. Or the occasional cookie. I mean, if I eat healthy for ALL of my meals can't I have the crap just as a nighttime treat without doing too much damage?
So there. There are my true feelings about day 1. Damn you day 1. Lunch - you rocked. Snack - you were okay. The rest of you sucked though.
I ate:
Breakfast: Whole wheat toast (with less than 5 ingredients, all that I recognized) with peanut butter (whole foods has this grinder that just takes peanuts and grinds them down into peanut butter - no Jif here! Although I'm very sad because I love my sugary peanut butter. This ground up real peanut crap is garbage. Just sayin') and a banana and milk.
Lunch: Whole wheat pita (Farmer's Market and really delicious!! I think like maybe 4 ingredients?) with hummus (again, FM and very fresh whole ingredients) and lots of veggies. Peppers, cucumber, mushrooms, spinach and tomato. YUM.
Snack: Triscuit type cracker from whole foods (only made with whole wheat and salt) with cheese and strawberries.
Dinner: Chicken, broccoli and quinoa. (um... boring).
I MAY see about some popcorn for a snack tonight.
I'm already wondering if I would reap the regularity benefits (okay, and all the other health benefits) if I went back to Jif, and was able to add in some yummy stuff. Like M&Ms. Or the occasional cookie. I mean, if I eat healthy for ALL of my meals can't I have the crap just as a nighttime treat without doing too much damage?
So there. There are my true feelings about day 1. Damn you day 1. Lunch - you rocked. Snack - you were okay. The rest of you sucked though.
10 Day Real Food Challenge
Another food challenge for the Lincolns!
We've signed up over at the 100 Days of Real Food Challenge blog for their 10 days of real food challenge.
It starts today. The rules are basically to eat whole, real foods. No white flower or sugar. Nothing artificial. Nothing we can't pronounce and nothing packaged can have more than 5 (real) ingredients. The challenge also encourages you to buy meats, eggs and all produce from your local growers at the Farmer's Market.
We went shopping yesterday. We bought produce, eggs, hummus and pita from the Farmer's Market. At whole foods we bought everything else. It's very true that eating healthy is more expensive. And since this is day one and I've only had breakfast I cannot yet attest to how worth it the extra cost is. We'll see. One day at a time. I will admit to you that we spent $130 for Mon-Wed of this week. We decided with so much fresh food we shouldn't try to plan for an entire week because things will go bad before we can use them. The plan is to have one of us do an additional shop on Wednesday night for Thurs - Sat's meals and then we'll shop each Sunday (farmer's market day).
We're definitely committed to the full 10 days and we'll see how we feel after that. I've run into an issue with my healing from birth that basically requires that I'm extremely (ahem) regular - if you know what I mean. Ritchie's been having some issues in this area as well (what a lovely topic for blogging this fine Monday morning!) so we really want (and/or need!) to change our eating habits to help keep things in that area on track. I'm all for moderation and tend not to like a philosophy that doesn't allow any room for treats or rule breaking because I think that sets you up to fail. However, 10 days I can do. We'll just see where to go from there.
And, of course I'll be blogging daily about it! I'll post what I eat and how I feel and maybe even a daily check in on my regularity issue (I kid, I won't do that). Follow along and feel free to join in on the challenge as well! I'd love to hear your experiences and if you have any wonderful recipes using only real foods I'd love them!!
We've signed up over at the 100 Days of Real Food Challenge blog for their 10 days of real food challenge.
It starts today. The rules are basically to eat whole, real foods. No white flower or sugar. Nothing artificial. Nothing we can't pronounce and nothing packaged can have more than 5 (real) ingredients. The challenge also encourages you to buy meats, eggs and all produce from your local growers at the Farmer's Market.
We went shopping yesterday. We bought produce, eggs, hummus and pita from the Farmer's Market. At whole foods we bought everything else. It's very true that eating healthy is more expensive. And since this is day one and I've only had breakfast I cannot yet attest to how worth it the extra cost is. We'll see. One day at a time. I will admit to you that we spent $130 for Mon-Wed of this week. We decided with so much fresh food we shouldn't try to plan for an entire week because things will go bad before we can use them. The plan is to have one of us do an additional shop on Wednesday night for Thurs - Sat's meals and then we'll shop each Sunday (farmer's market day).
We're definitely committed to the full 10 days and we'll see how we feel after that. I've run into an issue with my healing from birth that basically requires that I'm extremely (ahem) regular - if you know what I mean. Ritchie's been having some issues in this area as well (what a lovely topic for blogging this fine Monday morning!) so we really want (and/or need!) to change our eating habits to help keep things in that area on track. I'm all for moderation and tend not to like a philosophy that doesn't allow any room for treats or rule breaking because I think that sets you up to fail. However, 10 days I can do. We'll just see where to go from there.
And, of course I'll be blogging daily about it! I'll post what I eat and how I feel and maybe even a daily check in on my regularity issue (I kid, I won't do that). Follow along and feel free to join in on the challenge as well! I'd love to hear your experiences and if you have any wonderful recipes using only real foods I'd love them!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Max is TWO!
My first baby turned two yesterday. I made it through the day without crying (about him turning two anyway) so I consider the day a success! Anyway on to the day's festivities!
Ritchie and I stayed up WAY past our bedtime to decorate the downstairs and set up the kitchen set we got him. He was so excited to come downstairs and see balloons and streamers.
He was the most excited about the balloons, but he also warmed up to the kitchen pretty quickly. He loves to open and close all the cabinets and now he's hiding all sorts of things in there!
Soon after we were ready for our family to arrive and help us celebrate.
We did a loose Sesame Street theme with an emphasis on Elmo since that's Max's favorite. We had an Elmo cake and his favorite food, pizza! Afterwards we did presents. Max was so lucky to have family and friends spoil him rotten!
The most popular gifts were anything having to do with helicopters. This kid is a fanatic and hasn't stopped playing with his helicopter gifts since getting them.
There was a moment in present opening that we took a break and all threw balloons up in the air and tossed them around. Max was thrilled with this. It was a highlight of the party watching him light up!
Especially since for most of the day the poor kid looked like this:
Sweet boy was not feeling so great. He's got the usual symptoms, stuffy nose, cough and those sad, sick eyes. Poor Max. He was able to pull through it and really enjoy his party, though! He's such a trooper!
Cake was after presents and Max TOTALLY got the whole blowing out of the candle this year! That was fun to see!
Max has amazed us more this year than we thought possible. Each night before bed Ritchie and I talk about Max and all of his new developments. There's not an evening that goes by that we don't express our great fortune at having Max for our son. He's a true joy and we couldn't be prouder.
I'm not so good with the words right now. Lack of sleep will do that to you (newborn plus sick child equals zero sleep). But you can read all about how much I love my big boy in his two year book that I finally finished and ordered tonight!
Link to album, then click 'Preview'.
Hopefully that link works. Enjoy!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Right Now...
Right now I'm...
watching: Parenthood Season 2
eating: A drumstick. Vanilla.
drinking: Water
wearing: Jeggings and a blue shirt with an elephant on it.
avoiding: Cleaning the house.
The cleaners come tomorrow but there's the pre-clean routine and
with a 3 week old and a 2 year old there's PLENTY to pre-clean.
feeling: Blessed about my kids, stressed about money and health and more than exhausted.
thankful: For my children. I don't know what I did to deserve those two.
weather: Better than the sweltering 90+ day we had. Maybe 60s?
praying: For a certain health issue to resolve quickly.
needing: Sleep. Am I repeating myself too much?
thinking: I don't know how the hell this cleaning will get accomplished tonight.
dreaming: of Max's birthday on Saturday. I'm so excited!
Not at all in that order.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
What I Wore Wednesday - The First One AND One Week postpartum Edition
I've never done a What I Wore Wednesday (WIWW) before. I'm a WIWW virgin. I've been reading them and I LOVE seeing all of the fashion, especially now that we're headed toward my favorite season to dress for! Fall is around the corner and I've been DYING to unleash some of the new fall treasures from my closet. I bought them while I was pregnant and couldn't wear them, but that was okay because they were for fall anyway, and it was still summer. So, I've waited not so patiently to bring out these outfits! Now, I'm one week postpartum and finally ready to try to wear some of these gems!
Okay, so let me just say that 1 week postpartum I am NOT fitting into any pre pregnancy jeans and am refusing to wear maternity jeans anymore. Therefore, leggings are my new best friend! I have one pair so on my first shopping trip I'll definitely be stocking up on more!
I thought that cute cropped top would be looser and hide some of the postpartum pooch that I adore so much (sense the tone) but it didn't do much for me, looking back. Oh well. Live and learn.
The boots are my favorite part of this outfit and will be in future WWIW most likely every week. I've been wanting boots for SO long and finally feel justified in wearing them now that it's September.
And now comes the part where I tell you where I got all of the various pieces of this outfit. Here's also where I have to let you in on an unfortunate secret that I have. I have an addiction. An, expensive addiction.
I'm Jamie, and I'm addicted to Nordstrom.
Hi, Jamie.
(Hangs head in shame).
Shirt - Nordstrom BP
Layering Tank - Nordstrom
Leggings - Nordstrom
Boots - Nordstrom
And.... are we sensing a theme yet? Yeesh. I'm secretly hoping WWIW will help me to shop elsewhere if for no other reason than to not be too predictable. Also, I'm hoping that it will help me pull myself together at least once a week. A two year old and a newborn... we'll see what happens. But WIWW gives me a good goal, anyway. Hope you enjoyed!
Friday, September 2, 2011
Bennett Andrew's Birth Story
“There is a secret in our culture and it is not that birth is painful but that women are strong” - Laura Stavoe Harm
Just a little warning that I am not going to hold anything back in terms of details which makes this post a. long and b. what some may see a graphic. Also, I was completely naked for the birth and for about 3 hours after so I put in the most modest pictures I could get, but there's still a lot of skin. I hope I didn't slip in a nip or some bush, but if I did I honestly don't care that much. There. Consider yourself warned.
I'm not even sure where to begin with Bennett's birth story as it honestly seemed to be so segmented. I don't even really know how long to say I labored for. I suppose it begins around 2:30 am on August 28. I awoke to a contraction and some cramping not unlike I'd been having off and on for that past week. After about an hour on the toilet and cramping I turned on the light in the bathroom to check the toilet paper when I wiped and there was red blood. I was ecstatic! That was my "this is it" moment of labor. I knew it was immanent. That was around 3:30 am. I decided to start timing contractions. They were sporadic, but in the neighborhood of 5-10 min apart and around a minute long. I called my midwife at 4:30 am to give her a heads up. We debated on whether she should come to me at this point but I was managing them fine and the last two had been further apart so I told her I'd keep her posted. Another hour passed in which the contractions diminished to more like 15 min apart. They were still strong and sometimes over a minute, but they were drifting further and further apart. By 8 in the morning I had had a solid hour without one, then I had one and went another whole hour without one. I was frustrated and confused. Was this labor? My midwife couldn't answer that for me but told me to go about my day and try to rest when I could. It would either go away or pick up one way or the other.
We decided around 10:30 or so to walk over to my mom's. I figured a walk might help contractions pick up and the distraction of being around people would be good for my sanity. While at my mom's I started noticing the contractions again, but a bit more regularly. I also noticed that Ben was moving a ton. I started to get concerned about his being so active so I texted the midwife just to check in about it. She told me she would be in my area and would like to just check in on us, but thought that the baby was really just settling into position and once he got there labor would really pick up. So we left my mom's to meet the midwife. On the walk home I had 3 contractions (my mom lives maybe 10 walking minutes away). One we got home I started trying to eat some lunch (this was about 12 noon) but the contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I was still breathing through them just fine and able to talk and joke and be totally normal in between them. My midwife arrived and Ritchie started setting up the pool and ran to pick up some food for all of us. My mom came and took Max to the park and told us she'd check in in an hour for his nap to see what to do.
Here's where time start to become hazy. I know I was checked around 1 pm and I was 4 cm but definitely "in labor" according to my midwife. I remember feeling very defeated by that. I thought "Well, it looks like I have a long day ahead of me". I pulled myself together and put myself back into the right head space for labor. I dealt with the contractions one at a time. I decided I would want to get into the tub soon and I needed to do the hibicleanse because I was Group B positive. That had to be done in the shower so Ritchie and I headed upstairs. I do remember Diana (my midwife) telling me to have my mom keep Max out of the house because I was in a great space for labor and she was afraid Max would distract me too much. Once up in the shower is where everything really picked up. I had a few contractions in the shower and the water felt wonderful during them. After maybe 4 contractions up there (I haven't a clue at this point the space or time of contractions - I was just rolling with it, but I know I could no longer be cheerful in between them and I had gone from deep breathing through them to long, low moaning and deep, steady hip swaying) I decided I would feel best in the tub so Ritchie helped me downstairs. I didn't even want to get dressed, I just wanted to get downstairs and into that tub, but it felt like I was having a contraction with every step I tried to take. Once in the hallway I saw that my doula (also a Diana!) had arrived. She immediately held me through the moaning and the rocking and told me what an amazing job I was doing. She kept guiding the noises lower and lower if I started to get whiney. I just wanted to get in the tub, but the water was pretty cold so Ritchie was trying to set it up. This annoyed me. I didn't really care whether it was cold or not, I just wanted IN it. I told my doula that it was at this point that I requested the epidural with Max. I remember the look on her face and also noticed my midwife was now in scrubs and frantically setting up for the birth. I also remember someone (no idea who) saying that Lisa (the second midwife) might not make it on time. I remember thinking that they were all crazy. I had JUST been checked and was a 4. Why were they all acting like this kid was coming out soon?
I started to panic a bit as the contractions came crashing through me one after the other. I had several in a row with no break and started to worry that, since I still had so long to go, that I couldn't do this. I got in the tub and told my doula that I was scared and worried. I told her that I hadn't even gone through transition yet and it was already so painful so how would I ever make it through? It was at this point that both the midwife and the doula started telling me that the baby would be here really soon and they think I already went through transition before I entered the tub. Somewhere in all of this talking (haha - I'm chatty even in labor) I had a few contractions that had my legs shaking and I felt Ben's head plummet down the vaginal canal and I was screaming, "Pressure! I'm going to split in half! I'm going to throw up! I don't want to throw up!" and then when my midwife tried to check me I screamed, "Don't touch me! Please, don't touch me!"
I want to say I was in the tub for 5 minutes or so when I felt a pop and realized my water broke. I told my midwife. She told me I needed to stand up straight so she could hear the baby's heart. She hadn't checked and was getting very antsy about it. I kept telling her no. No way was I getting up from where I was. She insisted and Ritchie and my doula lifted me up and held me there while she listened. Ben sounded perfect, thank goodness. I sunk back in the water to another intense contraction. This time my midwife ignored my pleas not to be checked and checked me anyway. Then she told me I needed to get out of the water right away so she could check me. I wanted to know why. She said, "Either I'm feeling a water bag, or that might not be the baby's head coming down and I need to do an internal exam with you out of the water right away." I'm pretty sure I told her no, but everyone told me to pull it together and do it for Ben. So, somehow I got out of the water and threw myself onto the couch on all fours. The couch was completely covered in various protectants. Anyway, my midwife checked me and it turns out my water had broke, but the baby was coming so quickly that his head hadn't had time to mold so what she had felt were simply folds of skin on the top of his head. I was told everything was fantastic and I needed to decide where I was going to have this baby. I want to remind you that I was checked at 1 and at this point it wasn't even 2 pm yet. I had no idea what time it was, but I knew it hadn't been long so I was stunned. Have the baby? Like now? Yes, they all assured me. He was coming. I decided I didn't want to move and that I would have him right there on my hands and knees on the couch. I wasn't moving! I did a few pushes there and the second midwife walked through the door around then. For those of you who haven't been to my house, the couch is the first thing you see when you walk through our front door and my ass was facing the front door, up high in the air. I specifically remember thinking that she must love to walk in and see that first thing! I enjoy that I can make jokes in my head while in the hardest part of labor.
So, I'm ass up and pushing and it occurs to me that my couch really isn't deep enough for me to get my legs open wide enough to birth a baby. So I flopped over onto right side and threw my left leg up in the air. I pushed there. The pushing was painful, but felt really great compared to some of the last few contractions I had had. I could feel him moving down and making progress. I could feel myself stretching. I got the epidural around 9cm with Max so all of these sensations were new to me. I actually enjoyed them. I remember saying that it hurt like hell, but it felt so amazing all at once. It wasn't long before my midwife told me that with the next contraction or two I would feel that ring of fire people talk about and it would burn and sting and I would want to pull away from it, but that I just needed to push through it. I did feel that, but right as Ben was crowning I got a charlie horse leg cramp. It hurt like hell - way more than the crowning did and I kept screaming, "My leg! My leg! I have a leg cramp!". Haha! So I guess the one thing I can tell people about the pain of natural child birth and crowing and the ring of fire is that a charlie horse leg cramp honestly hurts worse.
The most amazing part was (even through the leg cramp) I could feel his head, then each shoulder and then his abdomen pop out of me. And then one final tiny push for his butt and legs. I brought him up to my chest immediately and our love affair began. Well, it began AFTER Ritchie finally rubbed my calf and got rid of that damn cramp. He was born at 2:31 pm. Just 12 hours after feeling the very first contraction of that day. Just three hours after my contractions became regular Just one hour and thirty minutes after I was told I was 4 cm. How long would I say my labor is? I would say I have no idea, but it felt REALLY insanely fast.
That's my midwife, Diana. I love her!
My midwife and the second midwife, Lisa admiring us loving our baby.
After the birth there was a tad bit of drama with the placenta. It didn't want to come out. Well, it wanted to come halfway out. So the midwife had to hold it there to keep it from ripping out and causing bleeding. They were waiting for some contractions to come and get it out, but they weren't happening so they tried herbs. That didn't work. Finally, after an hour they gave me a shot of pitocin. That worked. Within 5 minutes it was completely out. It was actually all quite scary because if it hadn't come out very soon I would have been in an ambulance to the hospital to have them get it out. I really didn't want that and so I'm very grateful it came out quickly after the pitocin shot. I did tear slightly and needed a few stitches. We also had to weigh and measure the baby and get the house a bit cleaned up. I wanted all of that to happen before Max came home to meet his brother.
Max was really curious about the baby for all of 20 seconds before running off to play. He's handled the transition like a pro and seems to really love the baby. He pats him gently and asks about him, but otherwise just goes about his day being the happy, loving boy he is. My love for Max has grown ten-fold watching him become a brother. I just know these two will be best friends. They have seemingly similar temperaments and I honestly don't know how anyone couldn't get along well with Max anyway. He's made me so proud through all of this.
He's such a champ. Still loves his momma despite her bringing in this new cub.
As we've moved through the last 5 days I've fallen madly and deeply in love with Bennett. With both births I have not felt that instant love right as the baby is born. I feel awe at the process and relieved that they are healthy and all went well. But I fall in love with my babies over time. I felt guilty about this with Max, but have learned to embrace our journey and how it all plays out. With Max it took a little longer. I left his birth feeling a bit wounded. I was really focused on my recovery and nursing was so painful that I resented having to nurse him. I loved him, but it was very challenging for me to feel strong maternal love for him other than keep him safe and feed him because that was all I had the energy for. With Ben (and I believe strongly that this has everything to do with how I birthed him) it came much easier. Nursing is just as painful, but I enjoy it now. My recovery has been smooth and easy. I've been able to really connect with him because of the support I received in the first few days post pardum. My midwife has been a huge support and I've always felt safe and confident with her. We've been in constant contact since the birth and yet we're still at home where we can rest and recover without interruption. After having done it both ways I couldn't imagine ever choosing a hospital birth again. Bennett's birth has healed me. I walk away from this experience feeling empowered. I DID IT. I had a natural child birth. I trusted by body. I didn't need an iv, an epidural, pitocin to make my contractions longer, stronger or closer together. My body did it all on its own. This was what I needed to feel complete in my journey to motherhood. I'm so grateful for my experience now with Maxton because it led us to make this choice. And, this? Home birth? Well, home birth was the best decision I could have made. Earlier I was talking to Ritchie and told him that I still couldn't really believe that we had done a home birth. I said, "We're bad ass." It's so true. We're totally bad ass.
Bennett Andrew Lincoln
August 28, 2011
2:31 pm
8 pounds 8 ounces
21 inches long
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