Monday, August 27, 2012

Big Day Tomorrow

Last year on this day I wrote this post.

Little did I know that in a few short hours the contractions would begin. They would pick up some time later that day and quickly spiral into Ben's birth. It feels so weird looking back, so much has happened this year. I can't believe our baby is turning one tomorrow. I hope he feels celebrated despite the fact that I failed today at finding him a shirt that said, "It's My Birthday!" or, "I'm ONE!" or something equally cheesy.

But, balloons are being blown up as we speak. There's a homemade birthday banner and there will be cupcakes and candles and singing and my family will celebrate our youngest member on his special day the best way we know how. With love and yummy food and fun gifts (we got him a ball pit - I can't wait to see both boys in it tomorrow!).

Tomorrow also happens to be Max's first day of preschool. He did a very small in home type of preschool last year, but this is different. I had to pack him a lunch. He has a classroom. He has TWO teachers. He'll have 14 other classmates. I'm so scared for him. Which is silly, because I'm sure he'll have a blast and be just fine. But, I've spent the past 5 weeks with him and now I have to let go a little bit and trust that the tears at drop off will be soothed by those teachers and that those classmates will soon become friends.

Max and I have had a rough few weeks. I love that little guy. He's learning a lot of tough little lessons and I'm trying to figure out how to parent a almost 3 year old. I feel like I'm failing him miserably about 85% of the time. I'm trying to keep my cool, be loving and still not let him get away with whatever it is that he wants. Like, today? An HOUR long cry fest over the fact that I didn't have Teddy Grahams in the car. The kid has had Teddy Grahams a grand total of... once. Yet, for whatever reason he was obsessed with them today. It wasn't pretty. Even less pretty was my response about 25 minutes in when I hit my breaking point. Let's just say it wasn't effective and now I feel like shit.

And, that's how parenting goes sometimes, I guess. All this to say that I'm going to miss the crap out of him, but I do think that preschool will be good for him. Burn some energy, socialize, take a break from his crazy mommy. All good things, even if the adjustment takes some time.

Think of Max tomorrow, will ya? Send him some happy schooling thoughts. Also, in your thoughts, tell Ben he needs to remember that just because he's one he's still my baby and not to go thinking he's all big and stuff.

Thank you and goodnight!

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