Thursday, September 13, 2012

I Have the Secret to Living to 100 (Hint: It's NOT Paleo)

Okay, this is all going to come out very unorganized and seemingly irrational. Just go with it.

So, Paleo? One of the biggest arguments against Paleo (in my very limited research) is that our cave-people ancestors didn't live very long, so can't we fault their eating style for some of that? At first I thought, well, they were dealing with so many other elements, what with limited shelter and dinosaurs and what not.

THEN, I figured out what really killed them. There was no Starbucks. People these days are living past 100 years old. You know why? STARBUCKS. They are happy, they are fueled, they are caffeinated, less crabby and therefore less likely to club their neighbor over the head. Or their husbands. Or their three year old.

Okay, so I've been missing Starbucks the most. OH, and quick little interruption of this obviously important blog post to say that one should NEVER, I repeat NEVER begin a food challenge at the beginning of Fall or Winter. That is when Starbucks peaks with all its new drinks and goodies and pinterest is flooded with pictures of them passing on to all the secret to a long and happy life.

So, I've started Paleo at the wrong time of the year. Also, since beginning I've been very VERY moody. I will say it's gotten better. Day 2 was the worst. Day 4 is manageable. I even went TO Starbucks all determined to get my damn Salted Caramel Mocha and then I backed out at the last minute and got hot tea. Who the HELL goes to Starbucks for hot tea? I hope they let me come back.

Anyway. I hate Paleo. If my husband will let me out of it, I will for sure bail. That's not to say I want to go back to having Starbucks 4 times a week and eating pizza for dinner with brownie and cookie chasers. However, I do believe in grains. Whole grains. And cheese. I definitely believe in cheese.

As of right now I'm trying to convince Ritchie that 10 days is plenty. Honestly, if I can go from eating the way I was, to eating NOTHING but meat, veggies, fruit, nuts and eggs for a whole 10 days, I would consider that a success. That would take us right up until next Friday. That's still a hell of a long time away.

I've been enjoying most of the meals I prepare. I haven't even been missing Diet Coke that much. But, Starbucks. I think I could even manage Paleo for the whole 30 days IF every 3rd day I could have a Starbucks. I don't even need the scone or muffin, but I NEED the latte or mocha.

Do I sound like a total pansy? Will you all hate me if I quit? Do ANY of you even care, or am I just thinking that I will be horrifically judged but really nobody really thinks about me all that much to give two shits?

Please, do tell.


Tammy said...

Stick with it :) Frank has been doing it for a few months and he has lost a ton of weight, his allergies are gone and he never feels sick EVER. It's a good thing.

The supportive wife NOT doing it ;)

The Burger Family said...

First Jamie I love you! Second Jesus ate bread and so shall we, and if he had a Starbucks you know it would have been the drink of choice at the last supper:)

Melodee said...

haha! here here to Starbucks!! It must be so hard, I know that diet is rigid...good for you girl!!!

Unknown said...

izYou can do it!! Honestly I'm a person who needs grains and complex carbs or I go postal.... but I think it's FABULOUS that you have cut out soda. I do drink coffee religiously and can completely understand your need for a fix... but the seasonal drinks are so loaded with artificial crap they drown out the actual flavor of the ... gasp... coffee. Lattes with soy milk are my daily choice. The soy milk sweetens the coffee and after a few days when you go back to the other stuff it feels like you're taste buds are being beaten with sugar cubes. Honestly Miss J - I read your labor stories and this has got NOTHING on that. You are totally capable of finishing this. Now quit your bitchin' and go burn off your Starbucks rage in a dance class!! The endorphins will give you more of a list then the caffeine ever could ;) LOVE YOU.

Kristen Portner said...

corrections for above post (because I hate typos!)

iz... um what?
your taste buds
lift not list.

unknown... Kris ;)

elise said...

wow. good for you. can't wait to keep reading about your progress!

Patrick and Kimberly Gillette said...

You crack me up. No judgement over here. Just do what you can live with! :)

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