Dear Max

To my dear, sweet Max,



You are growing so fast and there's so much I want you to know, so much I want to teach you. I don't always know how. Being your mother makes me feel like the most amazing, empowered woman ever sometimes. Other times I feel like the novice mother that I will always be with you. You are my first and I have to learn how to parent with you, every step of the way. Please, be patient with me.



You are funny and kind and I am amazed that you are mine. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you, in all of your perfection. I see so much of your daddy in you and it makes me love both of you even more. Your clinginess and shy demeanor can drive me crazy, but at the end of the day I'm so happy that you are you, exactly the way you are.



The love that you have for your brother is a sight to behold. The way you smile at him, play with him, bring him your favorite toys to share with him - he is so lucky to have you, and you to have him. My hope for you two is that you will be best friends, the kind who can be true and honest but with the knowledge that your love is unconditional.



I didn't think I would like all the boy things that come with having sons and not daughters but you have taught me to adore them. I get so much joy out of trains and planes and dirt and fart humor. Who knew? Seeing you enjoy something makes everything more enjoyable for me, too. I find myself getting amped up envisioning Legos and sports and whatever else you may be interested in. I know that if you like it, I will too. Unless it's dangerous. Then, I will not like it one bit.





When you were born I wanted each new phase to come quickly. I was so excited about every new beginning with you. Now, you've taught me to savor the day. You're growing so quickly and the cuddles and babyness are leaving and in their place there are new and wondrous qualities. But, I miss your cuddles and babyness and I don't want to wish any of this time away anymore. So, stay small and darling. Your momma needs more time with you.





I hope I make you proud to call me your mommy. I am proud to call you my son every single day.



Love,
Mommy

Insta Friday 5/18

I haven't done one of these in SO long. But, I was looking over my iPhone pics and realized just how much they reflect what my life is really all about. Right now. Raw and unedited. I like that.

So, here are 10,489 pictures from my phone from the past few weeks.

My life...

in food:


I totally try to be healthy sometimes.


But, mostly I fail miserably. My hips must not bother me that much.

in consumerism:


Max's amazingly adorable shoes.


My yogi accessories (I've been going to yoga about 3 times a week for 3 weeks now!)


Pink shorts for Ben. He's being punished for not being a girl.


Had to buy a new carseat - it was my passenger all day that day.


Max's birthday present (just a few months early... or 5) came!


I'd been hunting for the perfect outfit for some family photos and I think I found it! Ritchie thinks it's too country... what do you guys think?!


I'm using a printing lab and I love the photos I'm getting! This is for my friend Gemma - it's her little guy, Jax. Yes, it's a picture of a picture.

in mommyhood:


Oh, you know - just another day, NOT another shower...


Same. I seriously look like this most days. If I manage to look better, it's because I either put on a hat or made at least one of my children cry the entire time I got ready.









I've been working on sleep training with Ben and we're really enforcing naps. So, Max and I spend the entire morning nap outside so as not to wake Ben. Which leads to my life...

in Max's latest obsessions:


The jewelry I used to sell.


Being in the driver's seat.


Loving up on kitchen appliances.


Water fountains.




And... playing with the umbrella.

That kid cracks me up. Everyday.

in cutie pie little baby boys:

















Love me some Bennett.

in parks and play dates:






Some texting before a play date with Gemma - I like how the goals are to keep the kids trapped and avoid scary large play equipment. It's the simple things, really. I love my play date momma friends and how much Max loves their kids! Makes my week.

in love:


Some romantic music for... cleaning, probably.


Mother's day with the one who made me a momma.


I'm not sure I could love this man more than I already do.


And these two? Put a fork in me.

Linking up with Jeannette!



Happy Friday, everyone!

Just the Happs

I haven't done a post that just sort of tells you about life lately in awhile. So, here it is.

First off, and most importantly, THIS little guy right here?



He's letting us SLEEP!! We took one week and sleep trained the shit out of him (lots of tears, all around) but he's FINALLY SLEEPING. It's like a Mother's Day miracle. Last night he only woke once between the hours of 7:30 pm and 6:30 am and he didn't even nurse at that time. Just a quick diaper change and he was out again! Engorgement aside, it was glorious! It's been about 2 nights of this behavior and I feel like a whole new woman.

So, our tricks? I completely stopped nursing him before sleep times. NO more nap or bedtime nursing. He gets nursed about 30 min before it's time to go to sleep. That seems to have stopped the needing to nurse to sleep association that he had hardcore. The second big thing was Ritchie and I not sleeping in the room with him. We spent 5 days on the couch and have just recently brought our mattress into the living room. While it seems extreme, we don't have a 3rd bedroom for him and until we're certain he's a solid sleeper we want to keep him out of Max's room. So.. for now we'll sleep in the living room. It's rather lovely to have a space to ourselves again, even if it's not our bedroom. Plus, the kitchen's RIGHT there for midnight snacking.

In other news, I performed with my high school dance team last week for an alumni surprise performance for my coach.



I had THE best time seeing some old friends and dancing again. I almost passed out from nerves, but overall it was a huge success. Max kept saying he wanted to see it again!



Just a super cute picture of Max with his all time favorite almond butter. If you haven't tried almond butter yet - DO IT.



I did two photo sessions this week. One you already saw, my sister in law's maternity session. The other was my dad, his wife, Mary and their doggies. Chole, the lab, is getting up there in age and they wanted to make sure to have photos done altogether before she's no longer with them.

Wouldn't it have been nice if I didn't totally ruin all the photos by having my ISO up to 3200 in perfect lighting? Grainy, hot mess they are. We're going to go out and try again soon.

On the photography note, I've been pondering actually starting a business. I have two thoughts about this. One is all full of gusto and confidence; like, I could actually DO THIS! Maybe this is my next move, a way to bring in some income, fulfill a passion AND be home with the kids! The second thought is, there is NO WAY I'm good enough to actually have paying clients and what if I screw it up and what if people hate my work and blah, blah, blah. I hate that my mind can get in my way of pursuing something I want. So, for now I'm in limbo. I'm enjoying practicing on family and friends. I'm hoping to attend Blue Lily's Go Pro workshop in 2013 sometime and take it from there.

Oh, and Max is almost potty trained! I have no pictures of that, but here's a cute one of him.



I had a fabulous Mother's Day and I hope you all did, too! With all this sleep, I'm ready to start a new week!