Friday, December 31, 2010

And there will be... JOY.

It's 9:31, and therefore on the East Coast they've already rung in the new year and have delved into 2011. Their futures. This new year's is hitting me hard and making me reflect. This past year was what Ritchie and I call a "transitional" year. It was great, sure. But not much happened. We lived, we loved and what more can you ask for, really? Ritchie moved jobs (but that happens like every other month, so what's new - haha!) but it wasn't the move his soul had been searching for. Max grew and learned and became so... BIG. I continued my journey of being a stay at home mom, for better or worse. But, there wasn't a significant happening this year. But, oh, in 2011 you better believe there will be.

Let me start off by doing a quicky recap of our Christmas. It blew. Ritchie and I both got the flu about 16 hours apart from one another on Christmas day and Max was just too young to get the whole sit down and open presents thing. He was much more interested in the dog's new toys. Oh well, what are you going to do? Some years will go like that I suppose. Christmas eve was nice. We had family and love and laughter so I will always remember that on the crappy Christmas of the flu, at least there was a wonderful Christmas eve and preceded it.
And the holiday season was wonderful for many, many reasons, but mostly because the whole Lincoln family got the best early Christmas gift we could have ever received.
That's right! I'm hesitant to blog openly about it since I'm only 8 weeks this Sunday but it's what I'm feeling so I'm going with it. If the worst happens and we lose this little life inside I'm sure I'll need love and support through blogging anyway. So, for now, I'm just happy in my pregnant state. Happy and scared and feeling a bit rocked to my core sometimes with the whole idea of parenting children. Because as much as I love Max, he's not easy to raise. He takes work and commitment and endless love and patience. Will I have it in me to stretch all of that out to another whole human being? I'm sure. But, I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Scared, and effing HUGE. Who knew you got SO big, so fast with your second? It takes courage, my friends, to post this next picture as you can see I am not only braless (and low hanging thanks to 14 months of breastfeeding) but also mighty large for the ripe old 7 weeks 5 days that I am pregnant. Let's just all send singleton thoughts out into the universe for me, okay? If I have twins, I don't think I'll ever recover.
So, yes. As we enter this new year there are many changes ahead. Challenges that will push me to evolve into this stronger, more patient mother and wife. In addition to being pregnant (and exhausted!!), Ritchie begins a new job on Monday. A job that he is excited about and that will require things from him that he hasn't had to give before. Time away from us being one of them. I will be challenged to be supportive of this because I know he needs this. Not just for his career, but for his own personal satisfaction and growth. I will need to run the household and mother often without help and find satisfaction in that.

As much as I wouldn't trade staying home with Max, it's hard. It can be lonely and boring and frustrating. I will dig deep and find renewed love for being home all day and watching Max grow into this incredible little being that he is fast becoming. I will take joy in quiet time with my boy because I know that all too soon, our moments alone will be gone. Our days of just us will be a thing of the past as we welcome in his brother or sister and learn to fill our days just the three of us. So I will revel in this time with him and in being home and I will be happy for Ritchie and hope that he finds fulfillment in his job. Because this is our journey. And I'm out to enjoy it, difficult or not.

Max rung in the new year with his favorite meal of spaghetti and made quite a mess at the restaurant. We actually had to strip him down in the restroom and change his shirt afterwards. But, it was worth it to see this face.

We've enjoyed having Ritchie home SO much this week and I'm feeling a bit depressed at the thought of him being gone again next week. But, like I said, being positive and soaking it UP! We went to Monterey and took our boy to the aquarium. It was packed and he was tired so it wasn't the best experience ever, but it was wonderful to get away for a day and enjoy the sea-kissed air.
I hope that you are all enjoying your new year's eve and, of course, being safe. I'm not sure how much safer you can get than indoors blogging and eating frozen grapes so you don't have to worry about us Lincolns :) We do new year's up right! Have a glass of champagne for me tonight and cheers to all my dear friends and their families. May next year bring us all joy.

6 comments:

the hamms said...

I am so glad it is in the open, when someone asked on face book the other day I really wanted to say something!! I am so excited for you and went through some worries about having enough love to go around. You will.

The Lincolns said...

Still not out in FB land :) I'm ready to be open with my maybe 15 blog readers, but not all 328 of my "friends" on FB. Haha! Sorry.

We're very excited and I know the love grows to go around.

Tammy said...

Loved this post! FYI, I am terrified that I will have two kids in 2011 too....so I will pray for you if you pray for me! :)

Tracy said...

Aw, congratulations on your pregnancy! I think that our years were pretty similar - not a ton to report on but jam-packed with learning to parent a toddler and all that comes with it! If my cycles ever get back to normal, I hope to hop on the baby #2 bandwagon with you! Happy New Year!

The Burger Family said...

awh I'm so happy for all 3 of you! Jamie your going to do great with another one, and your aa fantastic stay at home mommy now. I know it can be challanging and scary..heck I'm still scared!but it truly is the best job ever, and im only acall away if you are lonley or just nee to gab:) I so knew you were prego! LOL. Best of luck and love to all of you! you secret is safe with me

Miss Erin said...

Congrats on baby # 2. My sister is pregnant too. I am excitied. Sending sticky dust your way. Congrats again Maxton will be a great big brother.

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