Apparently I've become a 12 year old boy because this post has been buzzing in my head for a few days and the title that I keep coming up with, "My Balls", has me laughing out loud every single time I think about it.
Real mature, I know.
Anyway, what this post is REALLY about is balance. Finding balance. With my new photography business, I've been hypersensitive to the issue of balance. Kelly Hampton has spoken before of juggling these imaginary balls in the air and with each day there's a choice of which balls you'll keep up, and which you'll let fall. Balance.
So, that's had me thinking about my balls (haha, it gets me every time!). Which ones I choose to keep up each day, which I let fall and pick up another day. I've been practicing the art of finding balance, but also of cutting myself some slack.
I can get into a really bad pattern of comparing myself to others. Well, actually just to what others PUT OUT THERE. That's an important piece. I think often we compare our reality to what we perceive others' realities to be. People tend to put their best foot forward when under observation. Whether in blogging, when hosting a play date, when showing their work - it usually makes things look REALLY good.
But, what's real? How many of us actually have sparkling homes, well fed, clean, and impeccably behaved children with whom we craft, bake, discipline, snuggle, play with and teach morals and values to? All while, of course, maintaining a strong, loving marriage, healthy sex life, finding time for ourselves and, OF COURSE wearing adorable, highly accessorized outfits daily. Oh yes, and exercising! And reading! We're all doing all of those things, yes?
Yeah, that's what I thought.
I can balance about 2 balls at any given time. Some days I choose kids and housework. Other days it's kids and photography. After the kids go to bed, or during nap I may choose some different balls, one of the one's that dropped earlier, like showering or relaxing or making time for my marriage. But, I find, at any given time, I can handle about 2 balls up in the air. Some women may be able to handle more, and that's fine. I'm trying to be comfortable with what I can do and just feel good about that.
So, here's a little bit of reality for you on a Wednesday.
This particular day I was not focusing on housework OR discipline, apparently.
The balls can change frequently. I may not have planned on balancing a needy 3 year old that afternoon, but he needed me, so I dropped whichever other ball I needed to to make room to balance him, too. And it felt good.
Often times I choose to include TV in my balancing act. Because I love it.
Sometimes cooking healthy, homemade meals is my priority. Other days I just need to eat greasy food and focus on other things.
This day I made time for MYSELF. A haircut, a cute outfit... this may be rare, but when I make the time it feels so great.
Sometimes the balls I need to balance are SO simple. The ball of "kids" is always sort of floating up there, but I do consciously have days where I put my simplest needs above them. Sometimes, the day feels so hard that my juggling act consists of the balls "caffeine" and "rest". So, I use movies and snacks and long car rides and whatever it takes just to get me through that day with minimal yelling or crying. Those days happen, and that's okay, too. In being kind to myself I hope to teach my kids that bad days happen, you can't please everyone, you can't have everything, but you can do the very best with each day that you can. Whenever you choose to put your energy into something, inevitably something else will suffer and THAT'S OKAY. You're human, there's only so much one person can do.
Which balls are you juggling today? Mine were errands and TV. A lovely balancing act today. This afternoon it will be errands (didn't finish this morning) and kids - I have something fun in store for them. When Ritchie gets home I need the balls to be cleaning and cooking. After bedtime I have to focus on photography, the business side and time with Ritchie.
It's all in finding balance.
